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“I need to go,” he rasped, and—oh my God, did his cock twitch against me? “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
I almost fell to the floor when he pulled away and shot me a grim look.
There was pain in his haunted eyes.
He tipped his head goodbye . . . and then he left.
* * *
JESSE
I slammed both palms against Shep’s truck in the parking lot and then did it again. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
I bowed my head to the driver’s side window, trying to pull myself together. To not turn around and head straight back to Ella’s room and take her virginity.
“Don’t do it. Don’t fucking do it,” I hissed under my breath, then pushed away from the truck and turned to put eyes on her building. My heart pounded fiercely as I spied her light blink and go out from the fourth floor.
The devastation in her eyes when I’d walked away from her was going to haunt me, but what kind of a man would I be to take something so sacred from her when she’d not only been drinking, but I wasn’t even close to being in the right state of mind . . . plus, you’re A.J.’s sister, and . . .
“Don’t go up there,” I had to tell myself again because my dick was throbbing, and more than that, my heart hurt like a son of a bitch.
Because I did want her.
I wanted to tell her so many damn things.
About my brother-in-arms I lost last month. Killed five feet away from me by a sniper, and I couldn’t save him.
About the fact I had nightmares every other night.
And also . . . how I felt about her. How I couldn’t survive Iraq without looking at the photo she sent me. How I did write her back . . . but couldn’t bring myself to send it to her. How I read her letter so many times it already looked decades old.
But I can’t tell . . .
I’m too . . .
God, I wasn’t sure.
I grabbed my wallet from my back pocket and pulled out Ella’s photo I kept with me, trying to get a grip.
My shoulders fell at the vibration of my Nokia in my pocket. It was Shep.
“Hey, man. Where are you?” Shep asked straightaway, a bit breathless.
Not about to screw your sister. Nope. “Just walked Ella back to her room. By your truck now. What’s up?”
“I’m about to go fuck up some frat boys. I mean, Rory had it handled, but the fucker did try something on her, and well . . .”
“Where are you?” I rasped, the urge to fight strong as ever. “I’m on my way.” I pocketed my phone and bowed my head, doing my best to eliminate thoughts of Ella.
To get that woman and the way she smelled out of my head before I faced her brother.
But hell, I knew exactly what I’d be doing tonight when I was alone. Stroking my cock, pretending it was her hand. Then her mouth on me. Then her body writhing beneath mine as I made her cry out my name and come.
Virgin.
Virgin?!
Yeah, also, maybe it was my good fortune Shep needed help knocking out some frat boys, because the idea of another man one day touching Ella and making love to her had me wanting to . . . well, kill.
