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Come home when you’re out of the Army.
I need you.
We all need you.
Love,
Ella
LETTER
JESSE
DEAR ELLA,
I’m grieving hard for A.J.—for what happened to Marcus. And how it happened . . .
It wasn’t supposed to go down this way.
It’s been tough on all of us. Hell, on the whole country after seeing him killed live on TV.
It’s hitting me hard tonight. I guess I’m human after all. My heart still works.
My nightmares are getting worse, and I can’t seem to shake the feeling of loss, sadness, anger, every other fucking emotion running through me like a thousand volts of lightning.
I don’t regret being in the Army. Serving our country has always been important to me. And for the most part, I’m proud of what I’ve done (while serving, at least). But now that I’m thinking about what comes after the Army, I’m not sure what I’ll do with myself.
What am I good at outside of the military? What’s my purpose? Will I fit in with the crowd? Be able to live a “normal” life? Fuck, I hope so.
Maybe I’ll die before I have to make that choice, though. All I know is Marcus should never have died. Maybe it should’ve been me? But I can’t let that happen. For you, I can’t die.
I shouldn’t talk like this. Ask these questions. I know what you’d say. You’d yell at me. But maybe these questions are ones everyone asks themselves at some point?
Not sure why they’re weighing so heavily on me now. Probably because my heart is breaking for A.J. For Savanna.
I want to be the strong friend he needs; I’ll always be there for both him and you, whenever you need me. (Even if I’m not good at saying that out loud, I hope you know it’s true.)
Always yours,
Jesse
PART II
Jesse’s years as a CIA hitman . . .
(2017 - 2021)
Also includes an alternative POV scene from the prologue of The Broken One.
LETTER
JESSE
DEAR ELLA,
I can’t ever tell you this. Not even A.J. But the CIA recruited me after I left the Army. I was at my breaking point. Feeling completely hopeless. Useless. Lost.
This guy named Thatcher, who looks like Harrison Ford’s doppelgänger, which you’d appreciate since you love his movies, promised he could help me. Get me back on track. Take me under his wing. He’s kind of like the father I always wanted.
