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But there I was, obsessed with a ghost. A woman who left me alone. It was Charley’s smile that haunted me and might have possibly forever fucked my chances of falling for someone again. I felt it right down to my bones. She was my “when you know, you know” as my teammate Jesse said about the love of his life, Ella.
What if I did upload her face to our facial recognition program to get a hit? Find out her name. Where she lived. Chase after her like some psycho from a Dean Koontz novel? What was the worst that could happen? Get rejected again?
“Earth to Jack.” Mya gently tugged my arm. “We have to leave soon. Spill. Who has you in a daze? And if she hurt you, so help me I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” I gave her a hesitant smile.
“Just stop stalling and tell me.”
I dropped my eyes to her hand over my forearm. “I met someone on my op in Cape Town last month. You weren’t with us for that job. You were with the Marines.” I swallowed. “Well, I mean, I met her the night before we flew Stateside. She was at the hotel bar. We wound up talking, and well, we didn’t stop talking until the morning.”
Mya’s lips parted in surprise. “You had a one-night stand?” She was straight up beaming. Color rising in her cheeks. Eyes bright. “Why am I so shocked by that?”
“I didn’t, actually.” And I kind of hated Mya knew I wasn’t some fuck boy. No, it was my wife who cheated. I was ridiculously loyal. “We went to my room, but we only talked.” Kissed, too. But I didn’t need to tell her that. “Then I passed out at some point, and when I woke up, she was gone.”
“Oh.” Her brows pinched tight, and she shot me those puppy dog eyes again, but they were full of sympathy that time.
“Yeah, exactly. I had the best night of my life, and Charley and I didn’t even fuc—” I cleared my throat, recalibrated, then tried again. “Just talked. About nothing, and yet everything, at the same time.”
I knew the little half-heart-shaped scar on her chin was from falling off her bike while speed racing the boy next door at twelve.
And she loved standing in the rain and catching drops on her tongue during storms. Even if bolts of lightning cracked through the sky, she’d just stand there with arms open wide living in the moment.
I also knew she’d lost both her parents at different points in her life. That she’d swear she could hear her mother guiding her in her head. Directing her in life as to where to go and what to do. Just like me.
But I didn’t know other details. Her last name. Age. Any living siblings or family. Not even what she did for work. She’d dodged that question, and she never asked me how I earned a paycheck.
“I can’t get her out of my head. God help me, I want to.” Well, I don’t really want to. I need to, though.
“Wow, Jack. I don’t know what to say. I’m just a bit . . . well, your extra weirdness these last few weeks makes more sense now that I know you’re feeling this way.”
I was nervous to even peer at Mya with her knowing the truth.
“Gray know?”
I shrugged. “Of course.” My best friend was the only one I was truly comfortable talking with about the anythings and everythings in my life.
“You try to find her? Pull her photo from the hotel surveillance? I mean,” Mya began while tipping her head toward the suite, “we can help you track her down.”
“I can’t do that. I want to. But I can’t search for her.” I faced the view again and gripped the railing while hanging my head. “I’ve got a feeling she doesn’t want to be found.”
CHAPTER SIX
CHARLOTTE
The Amazon was nothing like I’d ever experienced before. Brazil had always been on my bucket list of places to live, but I’d held out, worried I’d never want to leave. And that was my life—leaving beautiful places behind. But this place . . . well, maybe we could stay a while.
Shivers managed to rack my spine at the thought despite the warm air washing over us in the courtyard of the “players’ lodge” as our tour guide had called it. The lodge was in the thick of the jungle, and we were surrounded by not only beautiful greenery but crawly things everywhere I looked. Thank goodness for the bug repellant I’d doused myself in.
We’d yet to receive our room assignments, but I’d felt the welcoming rush of the A/C unit hit me from one suite while walking by a building with a thatched roof. From what I’d noticed, each little house-like building had a veranda, including a cute bucket swing and hammock.
While Lucy had distracted our American-accented tour guide with her concerns about caimans, jaguars, and anacondas in the jungle, I’d taken the chance to try and determine where the cameras may have been strategically placed. Thankfully, I was pretty sure Wi-Fi sucked, and I’d tracked some of the wires to the cameras they’d done their best to blend in with the environment. I sure as hell didn’t need anyone listening to any private conversations I had with my sister, so I wanted all my bases covered.
While the rest of the women had gathered in the courtyard, I’d located what I believed to be a dead zone for recordings and planted myself there, waiting for the start of the game.
I can’t believe I’m here. That I’d quit my jobs yesterday to take part in a dating competition to try and win money. But I saw how much Lucy wanted this—well, needed this—and she was stubborn enough to come with or without me. I couldn’t let that happen, so, here we were.
“It’s views like these that more than make up for the fact we haven’t been in the States in over a decade,” my sister said in a soft voice, coming up alongside me while offering a drink. More like a peace offering.
