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Just when I think everybody’s gone, I hear soft footsteps padding over the wooden floor before Jade appears in the doorway, two mugs in hand.
“I thought you went to sleep,” I say, rising to a sitting position so she can sit next to me on the couch.
“I figured I’d have some hot chocolate to warm up.” She hands me a mug, her eyes going to the tree. The lights are blinking softly, making light and shadow play across her serious face. “That last year? We got some hot chocolate, sat here, and watched Christmas movies.” She glances at me, the sadness radiating off of her. “I miss her.”
My throat closes as I grasp her hand in mine, our fingers locking together. “It’s okay to miss them.”
“I know.” Jade leans her head on my shoulder. “What was something you and Gabriel did for the holidays?”
Taking a sip of my hot chocolate, I give myself a moment to think about it. These days I rarely allow myself to go back to the past. Remembering hurt too much. So did the realization of all the memories that I’ve lost. But for her? I wanted to try.
“We used to compete to see who’d be the one to catch Santa,” I smirk as the memory flashes in my mind, so vivid you’d think it happened yesterday. All these years, I tried to suppress my memories of Gabriel because I thought it would hurt too much. It does hurt, but it feels good, too, remembering him.
“Did you ever catch him?”
“Hell, no,” I chuckle. “One year, we thought we got close. We were probably nine or ten. I managed to stay up until midnight. I remember because we had one of those old, big ass clocks in the hallway, and I remember it rang twelve times. I thought that must be it, you know, midnight, it’s Christmas. Gabriel must have had the same thought because the next thing I knew, we were both in the hallway.”
“What happened then?”
“Mom. She must have heard the floorboard creek, or more likely, she was getting ready to put the presents out because the next thing I knew, she was out in the hallway, glaring at us and silently pointing back to our rooms.”
“Caught red-handed.”
“We totally were,” I chuckle softly.
As the sound dies, we settle into a companionable silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I almost forgot how Mom used to be before Gabriel died. Before our life shattered into pieces. Before we were irrevocably damaged. How fun and quirky and loving she used to be. She might not have died, but the part of her that made her the woman she was? It was buried along with Gabriel.
I look down at her to find her already watching me. “That’s a beautiful memory.”
“It is,” I rasp.
Cupping her cheek, I press my mouth to hers, kissing her fiercely.
“Take me to bed, Prescott,” she breathes against my mouth, her warm breath tickling my skin. “Make love to me.”
How is a guy supposed to say no when she looks at you like you just hung the moon in the freaking sky?
Maybe a better guy could. But I’m not that man.
I don’t want to be that man.
I let out a shaky breath and nod. Intertwining my fingers with Jade’s, I pull her upright. We don’t say anything as we make our way up the stairs and into her room. The moment the lock is in place, we reach for each other, pulling our clothes off.
Maybe it’s the memories we just shared.
Maybe it’s the reality that nothing is guaranteed. Not this moment, and certainly not tomorrow.
Maybe it’s Jade, plain and simple.
Probably a little bit of everything.
I carefully lay her on the bed, my body looming over hers as I show her exactly what she means to me. With my hands, my mouth, my tongue. I love her in the only way I know how. I give her my all and hope it’s enough. I hope like hell that we’re not living on borrowed time.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
PRESCOTT
“Your knee looks good.” Dr. Snow frowns at the scan of my leg as she observes it for a few seconds longer.
