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That night at my place. Kevin. His hands on me rough, like Luke’s. It didn’t matter that Luke’s rough was different, that it wasn’t from hate but from love. The two were so close, inches apart, that my brain didn’t know the difference. My heart might have, but that wasn’t in control right then.
I ripped my head back, meeting Luke’s dark stare.
“I can’t,” I choked out, fumbling with the door and almost falling out of it.
Then I ran. Not figuratively like before but really ran, sprinting away from Luke, from my own demons, from everything.
I flattened my back against the door to my apartment, breathing heavily.
I was safe. Alone.
But that felt more dangerous than ever.
Luke
Luke sucked in a breath.
Then another one.
He tried to calm himself. Swallow his anger.
“Fuck!” he roared, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel so hard the impact and vague pain reverberated up his arms.
It wasn’t new.
Pain.
It was his default those days. Pain at watching Keltan and Lucy and their easy happiness. Knowing that it would never be them, him and Rosie.
But then again, it wasn’t easy for Keltan at the start either.
Maybe that was the truth.
It wasn’t easy for anybody.
But they had periods of ease.
Fuck, he and Rosie hadn’t even had a fucking second.
He wished it was, that when she came back they could’ve come together, the absence clearing out every single ounce of pain that came before.
Every night, every fucking night since she’d been back, he’d had to drink himself into a near stupor just so he didn’t drive over there and claim her, like every part of him itched to. But he couldn’t. It wouldn’t work that way for them. He knew that. They weren’t like that.
They’d never be like that.
And it might’ve been painful. Almost unbearable, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
These months, they’d been worse than having her out of the country. Because then he got to pretend that’s why they weren’t working it out. Now he couldn’t pretend. They couldn’t pretend.
He wasn’t surprised when Keltan told him what Rosie had been up to, but that didn’t mean he was impressed.
Especially when he found out Keltan had had Duke tailing her before he even sat Luke down.
“Okay, mate, before I say this, I want your word that you won’t break any furniture,” Keltan said, sitting down across from him.
Luke braced. “Fuck, is it Rosie? Is she—”
“No, bro, she’s not been kidnapped, blown up or shot at,” Keltan said immediately.
Luke sagged.
Keltan grinned. “Well, at least not lately,” he added.
Luke glared. It was his default these days. Go to work, glare at whatever idiot he was working for. He’d walked out on his empty-headed client the second she came onto him. Messily and fucking pathetically.
Keltan hadn’t blamed him, and he’d done exactly what he said he couldn’t. He fired the client.
There was blowback, but it barely affected business; if anything, it made them busier. Which, for Luke, was good. When he was idle, that’s when it was worse. So he took as many jobs as he could.
“But still, I need your word.”
Luke eyed his friend. He’d never really had friends before. There were the guys from the force, but it wasn’t real friendship. They had beers, talked about sports, whatever woman they’d fucked—them, not Luke, because he never talked about shit—nothing real. Nothing deeper. Maybe that was because Luke had known that he wasn’t where he belonged, with fucks who thought enforcing the law made them the adult equivalent of high school football stars. Meant they could use it to get women into bed and wield their power over others. Not that many of them went across the line, but they danced close to it.
He was looking for something bigger than that. And like Rosie said that day, something spectacular. Beyond normal. Outside the law.
He’d belonged there all along, but he’d just convinced himself that enforcing it was where he should’ve been.
“Fine,” Luke said.
“I’ve had Duke tailing Rosie,” he began.
Luke clenched his fists. “What the fuck?” he hissed.
“Remember the promise,” Keltan said. “I really like that chair.” He nodded to the one Luke was sitting in. “I’ve been hearing shit about someone causing trouble for the scum of LA. A woman.”
“For fuck’s sake, Rosie,” Luke cursed.
Keltan nodded. “Yeah, I kind of immediately thought of your little spitfire. Hence Duke tailing her.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m telling you now,” Keltan said. “Now that I’m certain. You’ve got to play this carefully, brother.”
Luke glared. “What the fuck is she doing?” he demanded instead.
“Nothing out of character. Causing trouble for people who deserve it.”
“Fuck,” Luke cursed again. “You know where she’s gonna be tonight?”
“Not likely, but I’m thinking we should relieve Duke from his duty,” Keltan said.
“I’ll go,” Luke volunteered. “You don’t need to worry about this shit.”
“Oh, I disagree. When you go lumbering in there with the same anger and protectiveness that I’d have if the situation were reversed, she might just shoot you. Women are testy like that. You’re a good worker, better friend, so I’ll come, make sure you don’t get shot. Deal?”
