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Because this was Maura, and she was his partner in life, he was honest.
“I don’t know if we’ll be able to save him. That worries me. I promised him we would, and I don’t know that sending him to Doctor Seville will help. He’s broken in ways I have never seen.”
She understood that.
He was part of their family, and they wanted to heal him.
“He’s really far gone. He’s one step away from ending his life or hitting the VA. If he goes in, he’s not coming out alive.”
She was aware.
“Elizabeth is taking care of it,” he added. “She dropped a shit ton of money on it to make the doctor take him on as his only patient.”
Yeah, so she suspected after talking to Elizabeth.
“I figured as much. She’s loyal, and you know how she loves a Marine.”
He did.
“As for Gamble, we fight for him.”
He said nothing.
That told Maura all she needed to know, so she took a stab at it.
“And it reminds you of losing Roxy, and that takes you to a time when you believed that you lost Dianna too?”
He nodded.
“Yeah. Just when I think I’m good, the ghost of Roxy sneaks up and catches me off guard. It’s at the most inconvenient times.”
She let him talk.
“And on top of that, I feel fucking guilty.”
“Why?” she asked, not sure where this would go. With Jagger, it was a crapshoot. She wasn’t sure if he was upset more with Gamble or Roxy.
He stared at Maura, and he felt so many things that he never felt for Roxy. They had a rocky relationship.
It was up.
It was down.
Only, he’d believed it was all he was ever going to have since Maura was married to Luke.
The love of his life, his Major, was taken.
“Just say it, Babe.”
He did.
“I didn’t love her like she deserved. What I feel for you…it’s so much more. I feel like I didn’t give her all of me, and it’s because I was holding out for you. I was in love with you, and not my wife. I feel like had I been honest, she would have married someone else, and…”
“She’d be alive?”
He nodded.
“Does that make me an asshole? I stole her life.”
