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“I don’t mind at all. If you don’t mind me living here?”
She bit her lip and looked around. “I feel terrible about this. But I don’t know what else to do? I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“Right now, I don’t either.” And that wasn’t entirely untrue. He did have several other places, but they weren’t ready for him. Of course, he could make a phone call and have them ready the next day, but he didn’t elaborate. He wanted to be here. Maybe he should say that.
“After I’ve spent just a few months here in Strawberry Sands, there’s... There’s something here that really fills my soul with things that I needed. Maybe it’s emptied it of the things I didn’t. And hopefully I’m slowly becoming a new, and better, man. I need to stay.” There. That was the truth.
She nodded. “Maybe there will be a place in town that will open up.” She sighed. “But it bothers me that you signed a lease with my mom. I need to honor it.”
“I understand why you wouldn’t want us living together. That...doesn’t look very good. And it’s not something I’ve ever done.”
“Me, either.”
But her expression still looked worried. She swallowed.
Part of him wanted to demand that she keep her mother’s word since that would put them in even closer proximity, but he didn’t want to push her harder than she could handle and demand more of her than she was ready to give.
“I... I suppose a marriage of convenience, I’ve heard of them, just a business arrangement which would allow you to live in the house and ease both of our consciences—”
“No. I’m fine out here. This is still part of your mother’s property, and so technically you’re keeping her word.” He understood that was a problem with her, and he wanted to ease her mind about that. He knew there were people who didn’t care whether or not they kept the details of a contract and would get away with whatever they could get away with. He appreciated the fact that Kim wasn’t like that.
He hoped, someday, he’d be able to tell her how tempting the offer was to have a marriage of convenience. At least to be married to her would be half the battle. Maybe three quarters.
But he’d already done things the easy, quick way six months previous, and if he’d learned anything, it was that easy and quick didn’t really work in relationships. Not for him anyway. He needed more time, he wanted Kim not to marry him because of convenience, but because she wanted to. Because she loved him.
“Of course. I know you wouldn’t be interested in marriage, that’s just the only way...”
“I understand. And it’s not that I’m not interested, it’s that I already got the cart ahead of the horse. I don’t want to do that again. I want to have a good relationship with you. You’re the mother of my child, and I think it’s important that we get along.”
He wanted to say a lot more. That he wanted the relationship to grow, to develop into something deeper, solid and strong. A lifetime relationship. One that included love and most definitely included marriage and everything that entailed, but it was obvious that Kim was just getting her sea legs, and he didn’t want to push her. He wanted to help her. And that meant shoving back the things that he wanted, focusing on her. After all, it had been shocking to know that he was going to be a father, but he hadn’t just lost his mom, hadn’t just gone through a bitter divorce, hadn’t found out that the woman who raised him wasn’t his actual mother, hadn’t just moved to an entirely new community. All of those things were things that would upend someone’s life. But to go through them all in such a short time, no wonder she was confused.
“Do you want me to help you carry your things in?” he asked, trying to figure out what he could do to start working toward his goal of helping her and developing a relationship with her.
“No. I don’t have that much. I sold a lot. I guess I did a lot of cleaning, both in my life and in reality.”
“Kim?”
Her brows went up, and she blinked, as though she needed to pull herself out of her thoughts.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks. I’ll try not to bother you. I’m sure you’ll be working.”
“Didn’t Todd tell you?” He shook his head. Of course he didn’t tell her. Todd probably wasn’t talking to her at all. “He bought out my half of the business.”
She didn’t have much of a reaction, just a jerk of her head, and then maybe a thoughtful look crossed her face. Maybe she wondered if that was why her marriage settlement had been so low.
Todd had bragged to everyone about how much he had paid her and how she didn’t deserve it. Davis supposed Todd was trying to make himself look generous and benevolent and get people’s minds off the idea that Kim deserved every penny she had gotten for putting up with the likes of him and because he had cheated.
“So what are you doing?” Kim asked, tilting her head like the idea had just occurred to her that he might be starting over as she had.
“I had a few things already in the fire. Things I can do from wherever I’m at. Things that don’t really take a lot of time. I guess you talked about doing some cleaning in your life as well as in your reality, and I suppose I was doing the same. It started...a little bit before you and I...” He wasn’t sure what to say about that night. What to call it. How to refer to it. He regretted it because it was wrong, but he didn’t regret the time he’d spent with her. Couldn’t refer to it as a mistake or in any negative way, other than wishing he had been stronger in character.
She shook her head. “You don’t have to mince words because of me. Trust me, I’d take it back if I could.”
He wasn’t sure if that meant she regretted what she did with him, or she regretted their baby, or both, everything. Maybe someday he’d find out.
“Anyway, I will have to do some work here, but there is a rumor going around in town that someone was going to open up the stable again. I used to have horses when I was a kid, and I really enjoyed them. I think that would go perfectly with the way my life is turning out.” He laughed a little. “I suppose some men have a midlife crisis and they do all kinds of crazy things, I suppose selling a multimillion-dollar business and becoming the manager of a beach riding stable that, at this point, is nonexistent probably qualifies me to land on the crazier side of loony.”
