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“Or maybe you just discovered what you don’t want and are looking for something that you do.”
“I just think that maybe God might have a use for me here. I’ve lived my life mostly for me so far. I think Strawberry Sands is the place where I change that.”
“At least it’s not a jungle in South America.”
“God’s been good. What can I say?” He lifted his shoulder and gave her, not his charming smile, but a real grin, one that he hoped was friendly but also showed that he was serious about wanting to do what God wanted him to do. There wasn’t much doubt in his mind, if any, that Strawberry Sands was where he was supposed to be. There was just such a peace about the place and a feeling of rightness he felt every time he thought of putting down roots here.
“If you’d like, I can show you around town.” He hadn’t meant to offer that. Hadn’t even thought that might be something she would like, but he was glad the words came out. “It’s small, a little run down, maybe you’ve seen it?”
“No. I haven’t. I was hoping that there would be a diner. I’m hungry and tired. I don’t feel like cooking.”
“That’s pretty much me all the time. There isn’t much in the way of groceries there. But it looked to me like your parents... Your parents?”
She nodded but didn’t say anything else. Maybe someday she would open up to him about the things that went on in her head. And her heart.
He didn’t typically go around wanting to know what anyone was thinking or feeling, but with Kim, the thoughts came unbidden. And he found himself wanting more than just the surface interaction. He wanted something deeper.
“I don’t want to put you out.”
“It would be an honor, but I don’t want to push in if you prefer to spend some time alone. I know what it’s like to need to regroup.”
She looked interested. “You do?”
“There is a diner in town, and if you let me pay for your supper, I’ll tell you about my regrouping. It probably wasn’t quite as dramatic as yours, but it was traumatic for me at the time.”
She bit her lips, pulling them both in and nodding as she looked away from him, back at the brown wainscoting that lined the wall of the small room where they stood.
Finally she said, “I guess it would be a good idea for us to get to know each other. I...” She put a hand up as though warding him off. “I’m not looking for anything more. But for the sake of our child, we need to be...friends maybe? There’s a huge part of me that wants to be alone, but there is another, maybe even bigger part of me that’s scared. And wants some company.”
“I know you know that there’s no need to be scared. Whatever is happening isn’t going to be a surprise to the Lord.”
“I know. I keep thinking that.”
“And a lot of times, circumstances that look terrifying aren’t really what they seem. And I can tell you from experience that when you feel like you hit the bottom, a lot of times you bounce. You end up in a better spot than what you were when you started to fall.”
“That’s encouraging. I’d really like to bounce. I guess it could be a goal.”
“A lot of times, it’s the way you look at things that starts to shift your opinion and your thoughts and helps you see that things aren’t quite as bleak as what they seem.”
“You know, maybe eating with you is a good idea, because I like what you’re saying. It’s exactly what I need to hear. I know it’s true.”
“You’re going to give me a big head. And maybe instead of being your stable manager, I’ll start charging you for counseling.”
She gave a wan smile, like maybe she couldn’t quite joke about the idea of having counseling just yet. “I went to the counselor for a few sessions, but they just told me what I wanted to hear, instead of telling me the hard things. Maybe I’m just a sucker for punishment, but I didn’t want to hear all of the easy stuff. I wanted to be challenged. That’s what I need to get myself dug out of the hole. To put my eyes on Jesus and start working.”
“That’s the best attitude. Come on, I’ll take you into town and show you around. We can’t wait too long, because Strawberry Sands is not exactly a hip place, and pretty much everything closes by six or seven o’clock in the evening.”
“Even in the summer?”
“I haven’t been here that long, but you’re probably right. Things probably stay open longer when the beach is busy.” He opened the door, and she walked out ahead of him.
Now that he knew what he did, he could see the slight shuffle in her walk, the way her shirt ebbed and flowed, concealing her stomach. He was no expert on pregnant women and really had no idea of how big the baby would be or how big he should expect her to be, but she seemed small.
He’d already asked about the baby’s health, and she might be offended if he phrased another question about whether the baby was growing properly or not. Maybe taking her to eat would have a second benefit, and that would be that she would actually eat. Maybe she hadn’t been. Not that he could blame her. She’d been through so much. As much as possible, he vowed to make things as easy for her as he could from here on out.
