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I drown everyone out as I battle with the shadows and darkness. I think that I’m winning; at least for now. I may succumb when everyone goes away. Let it take over because it’s easier than dealing with the shitshow that’s about to come.
When I recede into the darkness, no one fucks with me. Not even my father. I don’t realize that the meeting is over until I hear Alessandro speak.
“Who’s staying?”
“I’m staying,” Massimo answers. “My men too.”
“Who’s at your house?”
“Regular guards plus an additional ten.”
Massimo and his live-in girlfriend have a two-year-old daughter, Ilaria.
“Same here and Giulia’s at the palace,” our oldest brother, Antonio, says, referencing his wife who was at our parents’ home.
Our youngest brother, Niccolò, still lives with our parents.
“I’m heading back home,” Alessandro says.
“Why isn’t Mila at the palace with the children?” my father asks.
“I haven’t told her anything.”
“Ales,” my father warns.
“I’ll let her know. She didn’t need to worry about anything while I was away.”
“She should be at the house with Angela and Giulia.”
“Papà, she’s fine. Bones is there with her and our team of security. Bones texted me that Sabrina’s with him now too.”
“Be safe, Alessandro.”
“I will.”
“I have to call the chief. I’ll be back,” my father says quietly, eyeing me carefully.
I want the rest of them to leave with Alessandro, but I know my father won’t. So instead, I’ll go.
“Where are you going?” Antonio asks after my father steps out to call the police chief.
I don’t respond to Antonio but head out the back. Once in my garage, I enter a code into the lockbox and grab a pair of keys.
I hop on my motorcycle, start it up, and roll down the driveway. My father stands to the side, waving me down.
Fuck him. Fuck them. Fuck everyone!
I keep riding until I arrive in the open country. A quiet little place that Graziella and I would spend time at when we first married.
I climb off the bike and walk until I stop at the river's edge. Sitting down in the grass, I seek the peace I need to plan. If I don’t find my peace, I know that I’ll start a war in this bitch.
Cagliari, Italy will be fucked up by the time I’m done.
Dropping my arms over my knees, I bow my head and close my eyes. The first thing I’ll need to do is find out if the kid is mine.
***
IHAD A LOVER WHENI first met Graziella. It was Maria, my deceased cousin’s wife. They hadn’t married yet and it was before they even knew one another. We were all teenagers at the time, having fun. I was sowing my oats, but I knew both girls were infatuated with me. I found a good friend in Graziella who listened to me and cared about what I wanted.
