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She bites her bottom lip as she lets loose a huff.
“What?”
“I have no right to be jealous of her, but I am.”
“Funny, she said the same thing about you.”
“What’s that?”
“She was jealous of you.”
“Why? She can still have you if she wants you.”
“Is that what you think?”
She turns away from me, and I kneel in front of her.
“Get up, Cade,” she says sourly.
“No. Look at me, Nia.”
When she doesn’t, my tone becomes gruffer.
“Fucking look at me, Nia!”
She does.
“She can’t have me. You have me. Always have. I just didn’t have you.”
“Then why’d you sleep with her?”
“Why did you sleep with your husband?”
“That’s not fair!” she cries.
“Isn’t it?”
“I was trying to make things work with him! He was my husband. We had so many failed attempts that I wanted to get it right. Seems like you did with Claire!”
“No. There’s a difference between fucking and making love. Claire and I fucked. She allowed me to use her to exercise my demons. How I am with you? Gentle and hard? I can never be that with Claire, and I damn sure didn’t that night. I ended up fucking Claire to fuck you out of my memory.”
She scoffs and shakes her head. “Sure.”
“It’s true, Nia! You’ve become one of my goddamned demons that chases me, and I can’t shake you. You hooked your claws into the very essence of my soul and wouldn’t let go. I worked like a madman around the clock, traveled, and drank. Nothing that I did could get you out of my heart and mind. All I wanted was you. But with every phone call unanswered, every text message not returned, you told me I couldn’t have you. You broke me, Nia. You fucking broke me when I thought that I was unbreakable.”
She wipes her eyes with the wrinkled napkin that she’s now released from around her finger.
Looking up at me with wide eyes, she says, “I’m sorry, Cade.”
I pull one of her hands into mine and kiss her fingertips. “I know. So am I, honey.”
After several seconds I say, “But for you...I’m willing to go slow. As long as you don’t walk away again.”
“Okay,” she murmurs.
“Just remember one thing....”
“What’s that?”
