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"I understand the pressure you're under but consider taking Delphina with you. You both deserve a fresh start," I suggest. "Misha's phone number is included in the email if you encounter any problems."
"Misha's number? Why not yours?" Adalina questions.
"Adalina, it's better for both of us to make a clean break and never see each other again. Besides, I don't know what awaits me once I deal with Maxim," I explain.
"Are they going to kill you?" she asks with concern.
"No, but they'll likely send me back to London. London is my home, and I miss it. Misha will take over the Chicago Bratva. He'll be able to assist you if you reach out to him after I'm gone," I assure her.
"No," Adalina protests, her voice breaking.
"Adalina, I am not the right person for you. I am a killer, a former enforcer. I've committed terrible acts of violence. My heart is cold and black. I prefer to be alone, and you have been a bright spot in my life. But you don't belong in this world. The Outfit and the Bratva are bitter enemies, and there is no future for us, even if I wanted one. Adalina, the sex we shared was great, but it was only physical for me. Nothing more. I never intended to break your heart..." I trail off, my voice heavy with regret.
Adalina
Nikolai helps me stand up and I feel my knees almost buckle beneath me. He just stares at me – an empty look on his face. I reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls away from me. He even takes a step back, putting distance between us. I look in his eyes and for a moment I think I see a flicker of something in his eyes. But then it is gone, replaced by a cold, steely gaze.
A wave of despair washed over me upon hearing Nikolai's decision to return me to the Outfit. I had been foolish to believe there was a possibility for something more between us. He is right - I am merely a pawn in a larger scheme, a tool to be used. A means to an end. And now that that end is here, I am no longer of any use to him.
"Adalina, you deserve a man who can provide everything you desire in life. I am not that man. I cannot be what you need me to be," Nikolai explains.
"But what if that's not what I want? What if all I need is you?" I question, my voice trembling.
"Adalina, you don't understand. I'm not good for you. I'm not good for anyone," he insists.
"That's not true. You are good for me. You bring happiness into my life. I love you, Nikolai," I confess, hoping for a different response.
He releases a sigh. "You shouldn't. Adalina, I can't reciprocate those feelings. I am incapable of love. I will never develop any feelings for you."
"Do you truly believe that? That you are incapable of feelings and having relationships?" I inquire, searching his eyes for a glimmer of vulnerability.
"Yes, it is what's best for me and the work I do," he replies, his tone resolute.
Before I run inside to hide my tears and run from Nikolai"I will never forget you, Nikolai," I whisper, my voice cracking with emotion. "You have changed my life in so many ways."
Before I run inside to hide my tears and escape from Nikolai, I summon my courage and speak from my heart, "I will never forget you, Nikolai," I whisper, my voice trembling with raw emotion. "You have changed my life in so many ways.”
Nikolai
Suddenly, Adalina runs inside the house. I hear her bare feet running up the staircase and then a door slam.
I don’t follow her, knowing that I need to maintain distance from her.
Chapter 28
Adalina
My heart is pounding in my chest as I hide underneath my covers. I can’t stop thinking about everything Nikolai said to me. I knew what was coming, but I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t bear to see the look of finality in his eyes.
His voice echoes in my ears, repeating, "Adalina... We can no longer be together. I don't have feelings for you. I have to let you go."
With those words, my heart shatters into a million pieces.
"Why?" I whisper to myself, seeking answers that may never come.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I plead, "Please, Nikolai, don't do this. I can’t live without you.”
I sob uncontrollably, overwhelmed by the realization that Nikolai is leaving my life forever.
