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“You were right about one thing.” Davina lifted her head. “I do hate the cold, but where I’m from, winters are brutal, and snow and ice are best friends.”
Huh.
“It doesn’t change the fact that you need to open up to someone.”
“Let me get one thing straight, Novak.” She picked her half empty mug, discarding its contents down the drain before placing it on the sink and turning back to me. “I will not be seeing anyone.”
“Fine, I won’t ever mention it again.” I let go, and she nodded gratefully. “But, only if you answer, why? Why can’t you just take the help that’s offered to you?”
Davina closed her eyes briefly and walked away. Then, over her shoulder and just a few feet away from me, she gave me one last answer. “Because I’m not willing to risk another’s life for my own.”
I learned two things. One, she was a northerner. Two, she’d lost someone recently, too recent. Did one of her family members get caught in the midst of the danger? Was it a lover? It seemed no matter how many questions got answered, I would still be left with more to follow, and new ones to brew, leaving me right where I’d started. Nowhere.
Davina walked away, and I let her. I’d pressed on with no limit, but now with the idea of seeking professional help out of the question, I had to start on phase two and build her confidence alone. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, not with the way the rest of the day would slither awkwardly in silence.
Nine
Davina
I was upset. I’d shown everything so easily that he was able to see right through me. He was wrong about how I hated the cold, but it was safer for him to believe the reason I hid behind warm clothes and hair was due to the weather. Ilias was far from the truth, yet, he inched and tested each possibility to understand and make sense of me. Why did he want answers when all they did was burden and kill? Some things were better unsaid than giving them power by making them more real into the world.
Maybe it was my denial. Either way, I would not speak of that night.
For the next three days, Ilias knocked on my door. We didn’t exchange any words, and only Bo would walk inside, sniffing each corner of the creaking house until he would find me upstairs in my room. He would lay under my feet as I wrote in my journal. And every day, I grew closer to Bo, and I hated each night he left me alone in the dark. Bo always stood close by me, his silky short hair and body bringing me heat. When he wanted attention, his cold and wet nose would nudge me to play with him, or to be let out for a few short minutes.
“Your dad will be here shortly to pick you up, Bo,” I said, turning toward my bed where he spread comfortably. Bo opened one eye with a huff, and closed it back up peacefully. “I wish I could sleep like you.” I chuckled.
The knocks at the door sprung Bo out of the bed and quickly out of the room. His heavy paws scratched each fast step he took down the stairs, and I trailed behind him, trying to keep up. His short, cut tail wagged excitedly as he stood by the door.
When I opened the door, alluring ice blue eyes took me in before they lowered. I watched as Ilias’s smile widened seeing Bo sitting patiently next to me. It was the first time Bo greeted him this way, and it seemed Ilias had been waiting for it as he cooed, “Moloder.” His native tongue made me aware of the sultry tone of the language, and I wanted to hear more from him. I knew he had praised him as Bo puffed his chest, stood, and walked over to him.
Ilias buckled Bo to his leash and looked back at me. This was the time he would leave with just a nod, and I would shut my door and step back into the quiet home. Instead, tonight was different.
“Don’t wear something baggy tomorrow,” he ordered.
I was baffled, ready to slam the door in his face from his tone and arrogance.
“I meant, don’t wear something that would slow down your movements tomorrow.” His blues looked apologetic, and I waited for him to continue. “About that favor, I have something in mind if you are up for it.” My brow rose. “Self-defense.” He shrugged.
My eyes took in his frame, the difference between our bodies and the strength I knew he carried. I barely reached his chest, and he was twice the size of me. He could easily toss me out of his way with just one arm. That was how I knew he would be perfect to teach me such a thing.
I eased my posture and looked into his magnetic blues as a strand of blond fell over them. “Thank you.”
“I’ll bring some Tylenol.” He chuckled, leaving me behind with Bo at his side.
Great.
After another sleepless night, I was already tired before the day started.
I watched Bo’s head crane to the side as he watched Ilias rummaging through the duffle bag he'd brought today. My attention, too, was on him. His body filled the black Adidas sweats, and his shoulders stretched under the white tee. His back muscles were visible, and I caught myself before my gaze was able to wander. I’d already seen how his left hand carried no ring, or how he never mentioned anyone special. It created questions involving his personal life, but the last thing I needed was to fantasize about Ilias. Although, lately, he was all I could think about.
“I brought my laptop. It’s secure for you to use, and I’ve added a mobile hotspot so you’ll have internet.” He placed the shiny laptop on the sofa and began moving the center table away, creating a large open area in the living room.
“Thank you,” I said sincerely. “You didn’t have to.”
Ilias brushed it off as if it was nothing. “I figured a good movie or TV show could help pass time." He stood, acknowledging me. “You should stretch before we begin.”
I stared at him. A small smile appeared when he looked down, and he sat on the hardwood floor with both feet stretched in front of him as he touched his toes. Meeting him, I mimicked his movements and we stretched in silence. Our only audience was Bo, who laid on his side with his head on the edge of the couch, watching our every move.
