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We spent the day together, playing his favorite video games and talking about his favorite television shows. As much as I tried to focus on our son, my mind kept going back to his mother. The only thing I could do was wait and hope.
31
ALLEGRA
The two days of contemplation felt like too much time and not much time at all. I needed to sort through my feelings for Rocco and so I stayed at a nearby hotel, my father’s men posted outside just in case. Papa had been a little overprotective ever since Matteo and I had been taken, and I couldn’t blame him. I knew he and Rocco would take care of Matteo and so I didn’t worry about that. I just hoped Rocco wasn’t too angry with me. I couldn’t stay there at the house with him and Matteo, knowing the family I’d wanted and longed for ten years ago was now right under my nose.
I had to really think this through and see if it was what was best for me. If it was what was best for Matteo. I couldn’t imagine how he’d feel to get his father back and then something happened—maybe Enzo would need him to do something dangerous—and he’d lose his father all over again. I would lose Rocco all over again. I didn’t know if either of us could handle that. Granted, with more power being Enzo’s heir, Rocco wouldn’t have to do the number of dangerous things he had before. But with the lifestyle we lived, it was still possible that he could get hurt, that he could get killed. Not only that, what if he had to go away again? For Enzo? I didn’t think Matteo and I could handle another five-year stint.
The only way I was going to work this out was to tell Rocco about my fears and have him try to reassure me. I needed to talk to him, and after two days of spending time with just me and Nico, my father’s right-hand man, I was ready. “Nico, take me home,” I said as I walked out of the hotel room, and he raised an eyebrow but immediately got into the car.
Nico was silent as he drove me home. He’d been quiet ever since what went down with Alberto, and I could understand why. They had been close friends. I hated that in the end, Alberto hadn’t made it, but that was what happened in this world when you betrayed acapo. “Thank you for coming with me,” I told him.
He shrugged. “It’s my job.”
When we arrived at the mansion, Matteo and Rocco were outside playing basketball. Rocco froze as Nico and I got out of the car. Matteo ran to me, wrapping his arms around me. He nearly knocked me off my feet. He was getting so big. “Hey, Mama!” he said brightly. “Papa and I have been playing a lot since you left.”
“That sounds like fun,” I said, kissing the top of his head as he went after the ball again.
“Let’s take five, pal,” Rocco said, and Matteo nodded, brushing his sweaty hair back from his face. He went into the house and Rocco stood stiffly outside, looking at me. Nico went into the front of the house.
“Rocco, I’m sorry,” I started.
He shook his head. “There’s no reason to apologize,stellina,” he said quietly. “Did you get what you needed?”
I nodded slowly and he just kept looking at me expectantly. “I think I did.”
“Does that mean you have an answer for me?” he asked.
“That depends, Rocco.”
“Depends on what?”
“Will you keep choosing Enzo over me?” I demanded to know.
Rocco blinked at me. “I’ve never—”
“Youdid,” I insisted, needing him to understand that. “You chose Enzo over me when you left, when you went inside.”
Rocco took a deep breath. “That wasn’t what I meant to do, Allegra. I didn’t think I had a choice.”
“Do you see now that you did have a choice? That you could have chosen me? That we could have been a family? Gotten out of this life and raised Matteo in a normal household?”
Rocco tilted his head. “Is that what you want, Allegra? You don’t want to take over for your father? You just want to have a normal life?”
I sighed. “What even is a normal life?” I asked, shaking my head. “I want the life I have now. I want to take over for my father and I want Matteo.” I paused. “And I want you.”
“Allegra, don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” he warned, taking a few steps closer to me.
I smiled slightly. “I mean it. I’ll marry you, Rocco,” I said, determined.
Uncertainty dropped from his face and he grinned, picking me up in a bear hug and swinging me around. “You really mean it?” he asked, and I giggled, feeling giddy. “You’re serious?”
“If you still want to,” I said.
He scoffed and kissed me, hard. “Of course I still want to. I’ll always want to,” he said sincerely, and for once I believed him. I trusted him. That was what I had learned during my time away—that I did trust Rocco and wanted to be with him. Forever.
Matteo made a whooping sound and I noticed him watching us from the terrace. Rocco laughed. “Come on out kid, we have news.”
