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“If you think I am, you’re wrong. She is fucking heartbroken. One bastard in her life was enough. I will not stand by and watch another one treat her the same way.”
“Look, not that I need to explain myself to you, but I think you’re being a little harsh, don’t you?”
“Not really.”
I gave up and turned and headed for the door. “If you won’t tell me where she is, I’ll find her on my own,” I said as I stopped at the door.
I made my way back to my car and climbed in. I wasn’t giving up. I looked up the number for the local florist and ordered two dozen white roses, then headed off to pick them up.
With flowers in hand, I took the elevator to her floor and walked down the hall. I stopped to catch my breath and then knocked on the door. When she didn’t answer, I knocked again, this time calling her name. Still no answer. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and switched the flowers to the other arm, while pulling my phone out to see it was the hospital. One of my patients had gone into labour and was on the way. “Fuck,” I muttered, shoving my phone back into my pocket.
I knocked one more time, harder, and called her name a little louder. Again nothing. There was nothing I could do. I had to go. I placed the vase on the floor outside of her door and took off down the hall, making my way back to the hospital.
I ended up at the hospital for the better part of the night. Just as I was leaving, one of Doctor Love’s patients came in. A young single mother had gone into labour. She was scared and alone and became even more afraid when I notified her I was the OB/GYN on call for the weekend. I’d spent some time with her, calming her down. When I asked about the father, she told me he wanted nothing to do with her. She admitted she was terrified to be facing all of this alone. People said I had a great bedside manner, that I knew exactly what to say, but Alonzo was the one who was perfect with these situations. I silently cursed him for not being here while I tried to say something to comfort her.
I went through the motions that night, while listening to her cries. Her words had ripped at my heart, because all I kept thinking about was Bella. She felt the same way as this young girl did—scared, alone and unsupported. I imagined this being Bella’s situation, and that was the last thing I wanted for her. Hell, I didn’t want this for anyone.
Before I left the hospital, I popped in to check on her. She lay there, holding her baby, whispering to her. I smiled. “How are we doing?” I asked, checking over her chart.
“Okay. Tired.”
“Did you decide on a name?” I questioned.
“I think I’m going to call him Asher.” She smiled, looking down at her baby. “I want to be reminded of how much you helped me tonight.”
“Well, it’s my job.” I winked. “I’ve delivered lots of babies.”
“Not for that. For your words, your kindness and your patience. Also, for not judging me.”
I placed her file back in the holder at the bottom of her bed and nodded. “Good luck. Doctor Love will check in with you next week. Get some rest.”
I stood there as she went back to talking to her baby and I walked to the door. I paused just before opening the door and turned back. “Oh, Crystal.”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you.”
“For?” she asked, looking at me.
“For helping me.” I pulled the door open and walked out into the hall. Taking my jacket off, I headed toward the parking lot.
Bella
I wentto step out into the hall to head to my yoga class and almost tripped on the vase of white roses that sat just outside my door. I looked up and down the hall expecting to see the person who’d dropped them there, but there was no one. I looked back down to the flowers then bent down and picked them up.
I carried them into the kitchen and placed them on the counter. They were stunning, I thought to myself and leaned in and placed my nose on top of one rose, inhaling. Then I noticed the white card stuck inside, my name written on the small envelope. I pulled the envelope out of the flowers and opened it, removing the small card from inside.
The only thing written on the card was Asher’s name. The other side of the card was blank as I flipped it over. I softly smiled. This was exactly him, but if he thought flowers were going to fix this, he was wrong. I shoved the card in the small envelope and threw it down on the counter.
I headed to the door, grabbing my mat and small bag on the way. I looked back at the roses, thinking about calling Asher but decided against it. I had a yoga class to get to.
The music played on as the class went into a few moments of silence. I lay on my mat at the end of class, in a corpse pose with my eyes closed, inhaling and exhaling as guided by the yogi. For the first time, I’d done exactly as instructed and could bring my mind to a clear state, letting go of everything.
“Now, slowly sit up and come into easy pose, bringing your hands to your heart’s centre. Everything I need is within my reach. I am exactly where I am supposed to be,” she said quietly. “The light in me honors the divine and beautiful light in each one of you. I wish you peace, love, and light, and may the rest of your week be as beautiful as you are. Thank you for joining me today.”
The rest of the class began gathering their things, but I lay back on my mat again, just soaking in all the calmness I felt here. Yoga was exactly what I needed, I thought to myself. When the last person left the room, I rolled into a sitting position and began gathering my things, shoving them into my bag.
On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store and made my way over to the produce section. I shoved three apples and two oranges into a bag and threw them into my grocery basket, moving on over to the salads. I placed my basket on the floor between my feet and had just picked up two pre-made salads, trying to decide between them, when I heard a familiar voice.
