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When I said nothing, Ethan walked right over to a silver SUV and glanced in the window. “What about this one? It would help you deliver all your flowers and such around town. You could even get a decal for the side. Peggy’s Petals. You could advertise while you drive around. Plus, it has much more room in it than your current car,” he said, smiling and waving for me to come over and look at it.
Instant panic filled me at the thought of giving up my car. I looked at the new vehicle and fought back tears. I couldn’t do it. Would the extra space come in handy for delivering flowers, yes? Was my car on the verge of falling apart every time I started it? Yes. Was my car going to cost me a pretty penny to repair? Also, yes. Yet as I stood there in the middle of the lot looking at Ethan, the only thing going through my mind was losing another piece of what I’d once had. Ethan stood there, a smile on his face as he waited for me to come over and look at the SUV he’d decided would be better for me.
“Are you coming? If you don’t like this color, we could go with the silver or perhaps the black. We could match.” He chuckled.
As he continued talking, anger began building inside of me, followed by frustration, until I couldn’t contain it any longer. “I said no, Ethan.”
Ethan stopped and spun around, a look of shock on his face. I wasn’t good at speaking about my feelings, I knew that, and I realized that from his expression.
“Peggy, I’m sorry.”
I didn’t want to hear it. “You’re sorry? You wouldn’t even be able to understand. So please, don’t bother trying.”
Ethan took a step closer and then stopped. “Well, try talking to me and maybe I’ll be able to,” he said, placing his hands on his hips.
I shook my head, turned, and walked back to my car and grabbed the other cup of coffee that sat on the hood. His coffee. He was right behind me as I turned around. I shoved the cup at him and waited while he took it from my hands, and then I pushed him out of the way and got into my car, turning the key.
Ethan approached the window as my car sputtered, failing to turn over. I again turned the key. It continued to sputter, only I didn’t quit. I just kept turning it, until finally, it roared to life.
“Peggy, wait a minute. Please talk to me,” he pleaded.
“I can’t. You wouldn’t understand. Trust me.”
“I wouldn’t understand what? Peggy, please, just calm down and talk to me. No one will understand if you don’t communicate.”
“Just never mind. Get your truck. I don’t need to communicate with you about this. The answer is no.” I pulled out of the spot and drove away, leaving Ethan standing alone in the parking lot.
* * *
I went through a pile of emotions as I drove back to Willow Valley alone. I’d just turned into my driveway when my actual actions hit me. I cut the engine just in time for my tears to stream down my cheeks. I’d acted in haste over something so stupid, and I’d left Ethan stranded in Cedar Landing. What sort of person was I? I gripped the steering wheel so tight in anger and frustration that my knuckles turned white.
I climbed out of the car, slammed my door, and went inside. Kicking my shoes off, I flopped down on the couch and sobbed. Half an hour later, feeling absolutely exhausted from the outpouring of emotions, I stood in my kitchen pouring hot water into my mug. Tea always calmed me, so I picked up the mug and carried it into the living room, where I sat down in what used to be Darren’s chair and took a sip. Then I opened the door to the cabinet under the table. Reaching inside, I pulled out our old green photo album and placed it on my lap.
I sat and stared at the cover. It had been a long time since I’d flipped through the memories of us. Years, to be honest. I reached for the TV remote and turned it on—I needed some sort of background noise—then took another sip of my tea, feeling the warmth inside my body. I placed my mug down, took a deep breath, and opened the book.
I looked down at each of the pictures, flipping slowly from page to page. Wonderful memories flooded my mind, trips to the beach, picnics, fishing, dinner on the pier in Cedar Landing. I smiled as I came to the pictures from the night we’d gotten engaged. We both looked so happy, I thought as my fingers ran over the photograph.
I flipped through the next part of the book, remembering our trip to Vegas right after we’d been married. Then when we finally purchased our home. We both stood out front at the sale sign, grinning like fools, not having any idea what we were getting ourselves into. I looked through all the renovation pictures and home warming parties. Then I flipped to the last page of the book and a tear rolled down my face.
There was a picture of Darren and me, his arms wrapped around me. We stood in front of the car that now sat in my driveway, a large red bow on it. He’d bought it for my birthday. He knew I’d been saving, and it was the car I’d wanted. I’d seen it on the lot two months earlier, but the price was still too high for me. Only I didn’t let that stop me. I continued working, picking up extra hours and saving, and had finally saved enough when our washer and dryer broke down. I’d had no choice but to take money from my savings to replace it. Darren had only just started his new job, and we needed his money for other things.
We’d been out shopping for a new light fixture when we drove by the car lot once again on the way home. My eyes zeroed in on what I’d been calling my car for months as we drove by, staying glued to it as we drove on past. A week later, we lay in bed talking.
“Just let me get you the car,” he said the night before my birthday. “You’ve worked so hard.”
I shook my head. “No, Darren, you support this household. I want to buy my car,” I said as I stared at the dark ceiling of our bedroom.
When I’d told him I wanted my own car, I could see the worry on his face. We were already running tight every month, and I knew he was trying to calculate how we’d afford another insurance payment.
“Stop worrying. I don’t want to strain our household finances. I’ll save the rest of the money,” I said, feeling proud, and that was what I planned to do.
“I know you want to pay for it yourself. You’ve practically got all the money. I’ll just help a little,” Darren said. I knew he was still feeling bad about me having to pay for the washer and dryer.
I shook my head. “No. It’s fine. I don’t mind waiting. It will only take me another month.”
“You are one hell of a stubborn woman. You know that.”
“I know. That was what made you fall in love with me, remember?” I giggled, rolling over to kiss him good night.
