Page 133 of Say You'll Stay


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I speed around cars, earning a few honks on the way, but screw them. It’s not normal to just leave work, but it’s also not normal to have some man—who turns out to be your father—make threats to a person knowing that they could just get away with it. Also, I left my purse, so I know I’m breaking the law, too. If I get caught, I am crossing my fingers that the single officer I know would pull me over. Lucas’s friend and Charity’s old fling, Joel.

Call it all instinct, though, because I know I need to get to Jadon. Mark had a look in his eye like a warning, and I won’t ignore that.

Lucas is looking out for us, but all I’m seeing right now are tubes and cords and doctors in and out of my hospital room. None of them were answering me about Jadon until after my dad arrived. That same fear is like ice in my veins, and I need to get to him.

If Mark can get away with all the stuff my dad mentioned and get away with my accident, I know he can do whatever he wants. I won’t take a risk there.

I pull into the daycare, not caring that I’m in two parking spots, and fail when I try to shake off the nerves. There is a silver car parked to the side, and there are plenty of spaces for anyone else to park. I dare someone to say something to me because I may just snap.

My mind tells me to run for it and not wait around to find out how often Mark Vandenburg follows through on threats. I have a theory, and it’s totally bizarre, but the way Mark alluded to the accident, and something my dad said just aren’t sitting right with me. It’s at a point where I have to wonder when Mark actually started paying attention to me and how long he had been watching. Also, his muddied concern for me and his objectification of Lucas show two different sides of him.

He cares more about having Lucas for Katrina, and just wants me gone, but why? My theory rings in my head, but it makes little sense. Mark doesn’t care what happens to me. He wants me gone.

Oh god, what about Ted? He’s part of it. He probably didn’t mean to be. Maybe he just got mixed up somehow. Ted was always nice when we were kids. How did he get involved in whatever this is? It makes sense, now, that he went away to a great college and somehow has all this money that he apparently “saves.”

I guess everyone has their price. At some point, Ted was for sale.

It takes three tries to punch in the right code to get inside this place, and by then, my sweaty hands are shaking so much that I can barely open the door.

“Allie?” One lady that works here stops in front of me. She has a blue apron on with paint on it and I can’t remember her name at the moment. She’s holding a dirty water cup with paintbrushes in it. “Is everything okay?”

I move past her with the best smile I can conjure up and gather Jadon’s things at his cubby. My voice is uncontrollably pitchy, but oh well. It is what it is. “Yeah, I just need to get Jadon. Where is he?”

She frowns. “You look pale. Are you okay? Do you need—?”

She snaps her mouth shut when I turn on her. “I need my son. Where is he?” She means well, but she’s standing between me and Jadon, and I’m about to storm through this place until I find him. I don’t care how psychotic I look right now. She stiffens up—Tiffany? Beth? It’s something... Francine?

“Uhhh....” When I fix my eyes on her—they’re probably my crazy eyes judging by the fear in hers—she snaps her jaw shut and looks around us. “He’s just finished lunch, and they’re reading a story. I’ll grab him for you.”

“I need him now, so please hurry.” Yes, I may be losing it, and being entirely rude, but I’m not wrong about this. Knowing I need to get him is like knowing you have to inhale in order to exhale.

Allie, calm down. He’s going to sense the urgency and stress out too.

While she scurries off to grab Jadon, the director smiles and waves at me from her office. She’s on the phone behind a closed door, so hopefully she didn’t hear the unhinged tone come out in my voice. I need to look away, though, because eye contact with her is making me feel guilty. The silver car from the parking lot pulls away and I hear Jadon’s voice.

“Mommy!” He runs toward me while the apron lady stands nervously behind him. “Where’s Daddy?”

Probably hunting down Mark Vandenburg so he can throw punches and probably get arrested.

“Daddy’s at work. You and me are getting the afternoon off, okay?”

The woman folds her hands in front of her apron; her normally chipper face plagued with concern is difficult to ignore. “I hope everything is okay, Allie.”

With a small smile, I pick up Jadon and nod at her. “It’s a family emergency. Thank you for getting him, and I apologize for being rude.” There. That should suffice, and hopefully, she won’t assume I’m about to do something stupid or crazy.

I won’t hold my breath.

She nods and I don’t waste time taking Jadon out the front door. While I don’t want to go back home, Lucas insisted on it. To be honest, I would rather be somewhere I could hide in public with him. Like a park or a store. Home just feels like a bad idea.

Jadon straps himself in and I triple-check he has everything on and is fastened better than someone who rides in a damn rocket ship thing. If I were to drive off the edge of the planet and head straight for Saturn or something, he would remain in his seat.

I’m spazzing out.

“Why are your hands shaking?”

Because your grandfather is a creepy threatening guy who can cover up our murders, probably. What’s worse, he’s determined to make us leave, and your daddy doesn’t want to leave because he thinks he can stand up to this guy. Oh, and your daddy was sleeping with mommy’s half-sister before daddy came back into our lives. She’s equally crazy, and it wouldn’t surprise me if the wife is just as nuts.

“I have low blood sugar and need a snack.”

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