Page 63 of Say You'll Stay


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He looks nice. His hair always pulled me in. Blond and light and fun. He is fun. He’s a fun guy that dresses well in blue pants and a white shirt.

“I just…” Ted takes my hand between us. “I want to say that I’m sorry. I’ve been mad all week and I shouldn’t have been. You didn’t deserve it. I mean, I get why you lied about not knowing him. He’s one of those kinds of guys and it all just sort of caught me off guard. I was being an ass because my plans were ruined, and I’m sorry.”

My crappy tribute to women irritated with men everywhere goes like this: “We’ll see how tonight goes, then.”

And then my failure to women in committed relationships everywhere happens when I let him lean in and kiss me, and I don’t mention the fact I nearly had sex with Lucas.

But it’s not wrong. He and I are official. We are a thing. But why does it feel weird? Oh, right, because I’m still carrying the guilt.

“Come on, I’ve got plans for us tonight.”

Oh, he has plans, alright. An hour away from home.

I feel underdressed for the restaurant. There are wines on this list I can’t pronounce, nor can I afford. If I were paying, I’d survive on the complimentary bread and ice water.

“Ted, this is too much.”

“Allie, it’s your birthday. We’re celebrating you right now. Don’t worry about the cost.”

Okay, but… you know what? Fine.

Not that the plant-based meals are the most expensive. It’s just that it costs more than my usual grocery bill.

I can’t pronounce the word of the meal, but I like eggplants. They did something to this one I would never think that I would like.

Ted asks about my day and how things were. He is fully engaged in this conversation and ignores the constant buzzing of his phone on the table for once.

“I got a flat tire on the highway and had to wait forever. No one was answering.” Not even Ted.

“You got a flat?”

“I called you several times and never heard back.”

He chooses now to pick up his phone to inspect. “Oh…”

Yeah,oh…I was soaking wet because I tried to do something myself. “I was lucky Lucas showed up when he did.”

Ted’s eyes snap so fast from his phone up to me. “Lucas?”

“Yeah. He got there and changed it for me. The tow truck got there after and towed it back to his house.”

“He fixed the tire, but you had it towed?”

“Lucas did.”

He puts his phone back down and the waiter comes by to see how things are and Ted thanks him.

I fold my hands in my lap. This is the time to come clean.

“Why didn’t you just go in your own car?”

I don’t really know, other than Lucas telling me what we were going to do. “We…”

I am saved. One of the waitstaff brings a dessert I didn’t order.

It’s a chocolate ice cream with mint leaves on it.

“Uh, is this vegan?” I know it’s not.

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