Page 38 of Matthew


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ML: The guards constantly threatened to torture and kill the prisoners, the Kalquorians. They’d hose them, then turn the temperature in the cell block way down so it was freezing. Or they’d turn it up until the prisoners collapsed from the heat.

Dr. R: Were those abuses the worst that happened?

ML: I wish. They nearly beat a Nobek to death, just because they wanted to. I ended up feeling we were the evil ones. I did my best to treat the prisoners respectfully, but under the constant threat of punishment, even execution if it was thought I’d turn traitor…

Dr. R: What did you do?

ML: I tried to shut off my feelings. I tried to stop caring. I…um…I kind of do the same thing here. I try not to think too much about how I feel. I try to answer your questions without thinking at all.

Dr. R: Why is that?

ML: ML: Because what we talk about hurts. And it scares me. I don’t like it.

Dr. R: I understand. You know you’re safe here?

ML: I guess.

Dr. R: Why aren’t you sure?

ML: I…maybe you don’t like Earthers.

Dr. R: I see. It’s hard to trust me, isn’t it? I’m Kalquorian without any Earthers in my clan, I’m a stranger, and Kalquorian strangers have treated you badly on my planet.

ML: I’m sorry.

Dr. R: I don’t take it personally.

ML: My clan trusts you to help me. I should too.

Dr. R: You don’t have to, Matt. In fact, if you’d rather I leave, you can talk to Dr. Sanderson alone instead. He’s here to bridge any gap with you that I can’t.

ML: Can I ask you—

Dr. R: Anything.

ML: How did you vote about clan companions?

Dr. R: I voted to give them the same legal standing as native Kalquorians. After working with so many of you, I couldn’t vote any other way.

(Long pause)

ML: Okay. I’ll keep talking to you.

Dr. R: Thank you. If at any point you wish me to step out and let Dr. Sanderson take over, I will. We’re here to help you, not make you uncomfortable.

ML: I guess I’d be weird about telling this stuff to pretty much anyone. I wish I wasn’t scared. I wish I could forget it all.

Dr. R: Unfortunately, that isn’t an option. You have to face your fears and your past to fix your present issues.

ML: I know.

Dr. R: Are you ready to continue?

ML: Okay.

Dr. R: Shutting off your feelings when it came to the Kalquorians the battlecruiser had captured…did doing so work?

ML: Sometimes, it felt it did. But a few of the prisoners, especially Kom, would ask me if I was okay if no other guard was there. They kind of wouldn’t leave me alone until I talked to them.

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