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Dr. R: They noticed you were a good person, in spite of the situation.
ML: They were the good ones. When food rationing got really strict for the crew and I lost a lot of weight, they offered me the meals they were given. I wouldn’t take any, but when I went on the block to fetch the trays, several would have some food left on them. As bad as they were treated and me not doing anything much to help them, they still wanted to feed me.
Dr. R: Tell me more about you and Kom specifically. How did your relationship develop?
ML: I don’t know. It was strange. Often, I wasn’t alone on the block, so we couldn’t talk much. But he was always at the front of the cell, watching me. When I was alone, Kom would ask if I was well and for personal information. He wanted to know my first name, my age, my interests.
Dr. R: He was doing his best to connect to the only kind face among his captors. Given your size and youth, he might have fallen into the Nobek mindset of wanting to protect you.
ML: He told me it was something along those lines.
Dr. R: How did you feel when this Nobek took such an interest in you?
ML: I thought he might be faking friendliness, hoping to take advantage so he could escape. But I looked forward to seeing him. It was the bright spot of my day. I pretended he really cared, and I imagined rescuing him when it didn’t make me feel I was a traitor. I had no idea how he really felt until later. He visited me after I was in custody and offered to take me home to his clan.
Dr. R: What happened then?
ML: I ran. The monster—my father was out there, and he knew I was still alive.
Dr. R: Did Sven contact you when you were on trial?
ML: No. He’d been told where I was. I spent every day afraid he’d show up, but he never did.
Dr. R: Kom offered to bring you to his home to live when your case was dismissed, but you went into hiding instead.
ML: I didn’t dare.
Dr. R: For fear Sven would retaliate?
ML: I was sure he would.
Dr. R: Did you wish to accept Kom’s offer to come to Kalquor then?
ML: More than anything. I loved him.
Dr. R: How long had you felt that way about him?
ML: I’d had a crush as his guard, but I’d refused to think of it. It was too dangerous. It still was after the trial, but once I was free, I let the feelings happen. I loved Kom, and that was that.
* * * *
On his second night as a regular performer at Solomon’s club, Matt played “The Renaissance of Life,” to end his set, a song popular during the Earth-Kalquorian War. He took his final bow to a standing ovation. Flushed from success, he stepped off the stage, stowed the Martin, and headed to the table where his clan and Drs. Retel and Sanderson and their clans sat. People called to him as he went, exuberant in their appreciation. He blushed, waved, and thanked them before he was enfolded in hugs from Kom, Avir, and Masok.
“An incredible performance,” Dr. Sanderson beamed. He was a handsome man boasting an athletic physique, his dark blond hair showing the first strands of gray at the temples. He and Retel and their clans stood. “I particularly liked the new song.”
“Thanks. Are you leaving already?”
“I’m afraid we’re due at a gathering of mental health professionals. I’d rather stay here and enjoy a night out, but some things you can’t get out of.” Retel rolled his eyes to show his lack of enthusiasm for the duty. “You were amazing, Matt. I’m looking forward to next week.”
“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Matt said.
“Trust me, I want to. Count me as a lifelong fan.” Retel grinned, his handsome face lighting. “Good night.”
The speed at which they left told Matt they might already be late to their gathering. He was humbled they’d stuck around to see him play to the end. His worries Retel might have harbored secret dislike for him seemed silly these days.
“That was another celebration-worthy performance. Solomon said the place is as full as Eightday and Nineday nights. Those who saw you last week brought friends.” Beaming, Masok rubbed Matt’s shoulder.
“I thought the place looked full, but I told myself it was just anxiety.” Matt shivered in pleasure. “I’m always so nervous at the start.”
