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“What does that mean for you?”
“I was a mistake of nature. Alphas only ever have one son. They can have as many daughters as they want, but it is in our genetics to only have one son.”
Niev could feel the pain in his voice and tightened her grip on his hands in an effort to comfort him.
“I have to be submissive to my brother. I’m the only alpha who must submit himself to anyone, the only one who will never rule his own pack. It’s physically painful to be around Seth, knowing that he has what I’m longing for and knowing that I must obey him. Every cell in my body wants to bend him to my will, to take the pack from him, to rule him.”
Blake’s muscles tensed with each word. Wrapping her arm around his waist, she leaned her head against his biceps, wanting to comfort him the best she could.
“I can’t do that. It’s not my right. He’s the first born, the pack is his. It’s his pack, it will always be his. I could never do that to him, I love him no matter what. It would hurt the pack, and the pack comes first. No one would ever be able to forgive me, I would never be able to forgive myself.”
“And if we have a boy, will he feel the same?”
“Yes, he’ll have alpha blood flowing through his veins. He’ll be an alpha, and without a pack to rule, he’ll carry the same burden as I do. The pack will see him as a threat just like most see me. They’ll never fully trust him.”
The tears spilling down his cheek were heart wrenching. His pain was so deeply embedded into his soul that her own ached for him.
“It was the reason I never planned on having children. I wanted the curse to end with me. I never wanted anyone to go through what I live through everyday.”
Instantly, she let go of him, his last words seeming to stab her in the chest. “You don’t want this baby?”
Blake didn’t answer, his silence saying more than words ever could. It pained her more than a thousand needles stabbing through her heart. Tears started running down her cheeks and her body started shivering as she tried to process what he’d said.
“Niev.” Blake reached out to her and touched her cheek wanting to wipe away her tears.
She flinched and quickly stood up. “I want to go home.” Her voice was shaking so she took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing in a more demanding tone. “Take me home.”
Blake leaned forward and took her hand and gently pulled her toward him. As usual, his touch calmed her, and she instinctively stepped closer to him.
“Niev, please stay. I know this isn’t what you expected, and I wish I could be full of joy that you’re carrying my child. It’s just… I believed my whole life that I would never have children and I’m trying to be realistic about it.”
She sat back down and sighed. “I’m sorry.” She truly felt sorry. She knew they were in this mess because of her. He’d wanted to use a condom and she was the one who said they would be fine without one.
“It isn’t your fault, beautiful.”
They fell silent as they both dwelled in their own thoughts. She’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but listening to him and knowing the pain he was going through, she understood why he was so cautious and reserved. She’d always wanted children. She’d always looked forward to her own baby shower and her own gender reveal. Thinking about how she’d pictured her gender reveal, an idea popped into her head.
“What if the baby is a girl? Would she feel the same pain you do?”
He looked up, taking a few seconds to sort out his thoughts. “No, she wouldn’t.”
“There are ways to find out the gender of the child before the baby is born. Would that help ease your mind?”
She saw a little glimpse of hope spark in his eyes. “If it’s possible it would help. I didn’t know that was an option. We do have a midwife, but we usually stay away from modern day doctors.”
“Because you could reveal who and what you are?”
“Yes, but we also heal much faster than humans so often it isn’t even necessary for us.”
That sparked her interest. “Like me?”
“No, I’ve never seen or heard of anyone healing as fast as you do.”
That was a disappointment, and her hopes of coming closer to finding out who and what she was were shattered. She quickly changed the subject so he wouldn’t see her disappointment.
“Why was Seth so angry? Did he not like the thought of you having a son either?”
“Yes and no.”
