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Especially not grief.
But today’s grief was different. It was complex. It came on just as I slid the bolt lock in place and observed the normal sounds echoing through the house. Adhara and Anthony were playing one of their favorite video games, skillfully strategizing with each other while speaking rapidly. Sometimes, I wondered if it was their own language because of how fast they could speak to each other without so much as taking a breath. But then, I just chalked it up to their twintuition.
I walked reverently around the fluffy couch and sank into it, inhaling the scents that rose from the fabric where Blake and Troy had sat. Vetiver broke through everything, cutting me right down to the bone. That was why the grief was so heavy. It was because of that scent.
And it was because of a lot of other things too.
I didn’t understand Slater’s insistence on helping us. Help was hard to come by these days. And given the nature of my identity getting tossed to the wolves—and bears, crows, rabbits, and panthers just to name a few—I was left scrambling for purchase. Slater had swooped in and offered me his hand without hesitation and without any requirement for repayment.
That made me suspicious.
Yet at the same time, my meeting with the alphas had been spectacular. Both Blake and Troy apologized profusely for allowing such a creepy man to wander the streets. Granted, they couldn’t have known that Bentley would turn out to be a creep, mostly because he came from an unassuming family in an unassuming pack that had merged with ours. Blake had a habit of scooping families up and providing them with shelter. It was just the way he worked. Troy was picking up on the habit too.
Charity came with a risk—and that same truth applied to me and my children. What Nathan had originally offered us continued because Blake recognized and respected his father as our previous alpha, regardless of how many problems had stemmed from the end of that leadership.
We all learned from the past. We did our best to make sure it carved the path for the future without taking over completely. And right now, I was resisting the urge to let my past dictate my next set of actions.
But I didn’t have time for that when Adhara and Anthony were running spiritedly down the hallway with their matching teal bags. They slid to a halt in the foyer just behind me and stood at attention like soldiers awaiting their orders.
I laughed. “Playing that war game again, are we?”
“Sir, yes sir!” they replied simultaneously.
A sigh propelled me from the couch as I went to check the living room window. “Did Archie say when they were picking you up?”
Adhara procured a pocket watch from the pocket of her jeans. Daisies decorated the denim fabric all the way to the flared hem. I remembered doing the embroidery for it when she saw it on her favorite television show. One of those pop singers was bringing back flared jeans. I thought it was cute.
She showed me her watch. “They should be arriving in three minutes, Mama.”
“And did you pack your toothbrush?” Nods from both. “Toothpaste?” Another pair of nods. “Undies? Towels? Stuffies?” Three more nods from my twin children put me at ease.
I smiled and opened my arms. Both children fell right into place, Adhara on my left and Anthony on my right. Together, we made a perfect trinity. We had weathered storms, faced challenges, and were now wading through the flood waters to get back to dry land. While pulling through was the only option left for us, I wondered what else we could do.
We could run.
The doorbell rang before I could let the thought finish out. Muffled voices wavered on the other side of the wood as I peeked out the curtain to check. The twins waited patiently, standing six feet back from the door with anticipatory expressions. When I nodded, they both flew forward and unlatched the door at the same time.
Archie excitedly embraced the twins while Elias extended his hand. I smiled and shook it, feeling a sense of comfort echo from him that reminded me of Troy.
“Thanks for doing this on short notice,” he said. “Archie wouldn’t stop going on about Anthony’s twin sister and how they needed to do a raid or something tonight.”
“It’s for our country,” Adhara stated confidently while holding Archie’s hand. Anthony stood on the other side of the bear child, holding his other hand.
Anthony nodded proudly and added, “Our platoon is about to reach the border.”
“Is that what that noise was all about?” I teased. Elias and I exchanged one of those knowing parental looks. “Well, it sounds like a hoot.”
“Mom,” Anthony whined in a low voice. “That’s such a…” He glanced at Adhara who shook her head. He released a resolved sigh. “Yes, Mama. It’s ahoot.”
Elias choked on a laugh while I nervously threaded my fingers through my hair. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say my kids thought I was a dork for using language like that. Well, they were both at the late stage of being ten. And then in a few years, they’d both be teenagers. And then, to my horrific realization, I’d be dealing withtwohormonal children on top of dealing with…whatever this situation would be at that point in time.
Fear snaked through my core, making the pit of my stomach drop out.Are we even going to have a home here by then?
Elias smiled warmly as he ushered the kids out onto the porch. “I’ll have them both back tomorrow by lunch. I’ll text you updates. You let me know if you want to drop by, okay?”
I waved away the offer. “No, it’s fine. I—”
He looked at Archie and nodded to the swing. “Hey, sport. Why don’t you take measurements of that thing so we can make one?”
