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Now we’re at a restaurant together, sitting at the same table, though at least I’m on the other end and not directly facing her. I’m sitting with the guys, locked in an intense conversation with my hero, Owen Maguire, and Knox.
But I can’t stop thinking of the many ways I could possibly get Blair to see me later and explain to her exactly why I’m such a complete dickhead.
But how can I explain any of that without her rolling her eyes, calling me a red flag, yet again, and dismissing me completely? I’d deserve all of that treatment and more. Which circles right back to the ‘I’m not worthy’ statement I love saying to her all the time.
Christ. Even I’m sick of myself.
Instead of sneaking looks at Blair down at the other end of the table every chance I get, I focus on Owen. Taking into consideration his time and his willingness to share all his tips and tricks. The fact that he’s willing to share so much valuable information with me while also pushing his son into the NFL draft is huge. It shows that he cares enough that he wants to help me, and I appreciate it more than he could ever know.
I’m a lucky son of a bitch, and I tell them exactly that.
“You’re not lucky,” Owen says with a faint smile. “You’ve more than proven yourself. You’re worthy of the chance.”
I blink at him, absorbing his words, while Knox continues talking. Maybe Owen is right. I am worthy. I worked really hard to get where I am, and now I should reap the possible benefits. I might not get drafted, but what if I do?
My entire life will change. I won’t take the opportunity and toss it aside. I’ll continue working, striving toward being the best that I can be. I will lead a new team and hopefully find success again.
“I think I’m gonna head out,” Knox announces about halfway through dinner, pushing back his chair.
Owen stops mid-conversation, his gaze going to his son. “We just started eating.”
“And I’m already done.” Knox points to his empty plate. The guy is always starving. I’ve never seen anyone eat as fast as him.
“Let him go,” Chelsea Maguire says, a fond smile on her face as she studies Knox. “He probably wants to go see Joanna.”
“I do.” Knox doesn’t even hesitate with his answer. Just leaps to his feet, an anxious expression on his face. “Do you guys mind if I leave?”
“You should go,” his mother says without hesitation.
“What about Cam?” Blair asks.
I’m shocked she’d even say my name. She hasn’t acknowledged me since we showed up at the restaurant.
“Do you mind giving him a ride home, Blair?” Knox sends his sister a pleading look. “Mom and Dad are just going to walk across the street to their hotel after dinner, right Dad?”
“I can leave with you now,” I start to say but Knox shakes his head.
“I want to go straight to Joanna’s. Something’s wrong. She won’t answer my texts.” He sounds worried.
“You really care about her, don’t you?” his father asks.
“I do,” Knox says solemnly.
A sigh leaves Owen and he sends his wife a look. “When you know, you just…know. Go to Joanna. Tell her we’re sorry we didn’t get to say goodbye to her.”
Knox hesitates, his gaze shifting between his mom and dad. “Are you sure I can leave? I know you’re flying out tomorrow.”
“We’ll take an Uber,” Owen reassures him.
I sit there uneasy, while Knox hugs his parents and eventually takes off. Leaving just me and the Maguires and Blair, who still won’t look at me. Not really. Everyone is still eating, but my appetite is gone, and I push my plate away from me, checking my phone real quick.
Derek is blowing up my line, sending endless text messages about me showing up at Logan’s later. I send him a response.
Can’t. I’m having dinner with the Maguires.
Derek proceeds to send me a long string of emojis that include eggplants and peaches and the one that looks like something is blowing up. I figure out quickly that he’s asking in emoji-speak if they know I’m banging their daughter.
The fucker.
