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“That’s it.” He pressed his forehead to mine, and we stayed that way, swaying to the silent melody of our hearts, a constant beat that accompanied us. I shut my eyes, welcoming the intoxication that came with his presence. Welcoming the feeling of completion. Welcoming this moment, if only for one short moment, when my being was whole again.
As much as I knew I belonged with him, as much as I knew we belonged, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that there was still more for me to do with the life I’d been given. The thought of leaving Jamie once again broke my heart.
But I knew I couldn’t stay.
“Just… give me a few more minutes of this,” I whispered. “So I can commit this to my memory… so I have something to draw on during the hardest moments. So I can remember this in high definition for the rest of my physical existence.”
After another moment of silence, Jamie finally spoke.
“I’m going to miss you, Jemma.” His silky words sent warmth through me.
I pressed my lips to his. Then, just as when we were together outside of his parent’s house, he began to fade away from me. Not just him this time, but the world around me faded, too. From a bright white, to a darker shade of grey, as if someone had imported the world around me into photoshopped and gradually pulled back the brightness until everything grew dark.
I realized I was the one fading from Jamie—not him fading from me.
I was fading back to my physical reality.
Back to where I currently belonged.
Chapter Sixty-Four
Jamie
“She passed the test, James,” the angelic figure I called Angie said. Angie, who was cloaked in a violet hue, had gotten a real kick out my dumb nickname for her—but that was a story for another time. But, long story short, she hadn’t stopped calling me James, so I hadn’t stopped calling her Angie. Sounded fair enough to me.
“Yeah, she passed alright,” I said, sinking into myself, staring at the Prometheus sculpture on the podium in the white room we’d taken Jemma when shedied.
Heh, that was a crock of shit. Jemma hadn’t died at all.
It was more like a goddamn angel’s way of seeing what Jemma would do—if she would choose life, that is—in this particular scenario. Fuck. I felt like an ass for not telling her the entire truth. But… my hands were kinda tied. By a guardian angel making me do certain shit I didn’t wanna do.
“So, what now?” I asked. “You send Jemma back? To the moment she started to turn onto her street? And she realizes that there never was an accident? Or are we just never going to tell heryouconcocted that entire thing?”
“Don’t.” She waved a hand in front of her face, a violet crown sparkling as it rotated in a circular motion over top her head. “You did what we asked of you. She’s going to be okay. And we don’t need to meddle in her life anymore. You can go home in peace, she can live out the rest of her Earthbound years in peace. All is resolved.”
“Hey, okay, stop that. Stop associating me with you. I didn’t meddle. I went to her to help her… and there is no peace. Not until I’m with her again.”
“You’ll see her again one day,” Angie said.
“One second isn’t soon enough.” I crossed my arms, letting out a deep breath of energy I’d been holding in since god knows when. This was all my fault. All. My. Fault.
“You still hold so much anger against yourself, James.”
“Why have I always made such huge mistakes?” I said, wishing I could kick my own damn ass. My. Own. Damn. Ass.
“The best of us make mistakes,” she said. “It’s what you do with what you learn from it that makes us who we are.”
“Yeah, well. Fuck that’s going to help me now.”
Then, like she usually did, Angie got that cryptic look on her face—glossy, distant eyes—the one where she was going to tell me something that would make absolutely no sense but that I would have to trust would mean something to me later. Did I ever trust her though? Hell no.
“Letting go of the anger will be your key,” she said. “In the future, the future that is also your past. When you can let go of the anger… that is what will set you free.”
“Come the fuck on,” I said. “What am I supposed to even do with that?”
“Your future is also your past.” She smiled through tight lips. “Let go of the anger you feel toward yourself, this is what will set you free.”
I opened my mouth to say something, to argue with her, to fucking say something, but before I had the chance to even bother, a flash of light accompanied by a high-pitched wave shot toward me.
