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“In case you change your mind,” he said, placing one of the beers on the side table next to me. He took a long sip as he slid back into his chair and then slammed his glass on the table. “So, you’re here to what exactly? Be my voice of reason?”
“Think of me as a sort of unannounced life coach,” I said. Hoping once again that bringing something up like that would remind him.
“Life coach?” He took another sip of the beer. “Damn. A little ironic, no? No offense to you… I’m beyond glad you’re okay and all… but when I saw you last, you weren’t exactly the spitting image of pro-life.”
I started laughing heavily, shaking in my seat as I listened to his words. Okay, fine. He was being a major ass. Something I excused at the moment due to his shitty state. But, really, I couldn’t get over hearing him yet again say nearly the same things I’d once said to him.
“Anyone else would be pissed off at you right now,” I said. “But I’m… amused.”
“Amused? Alright. I’ll take amused.”
“You sound like me, is all,” I said. “Did you ever know we might’ve had more in common than either of us realized?”
“Oh yeah? Good to know.” He sighed a little too loudly. “Considering I drove you to such a shitty place. Good to know at least we had things in common while I did it.” His final statement dripped with snark.
“Wait. You thinkyoudrove me to that place?” I asked.
“What else could it have been?”
“Oh, a million things. A million things I have only begun to tackle.” I inhaled and spit out the next words fast, as if doing a quick recap of an entire movie. “Let’s see. My dad killed himself in front of me, my mom emotionally abandoned me, and the guy I loved didn’t seem to love me in return. It wasallof those things.”
“Jesus fucking Christ. What?” His face whitened, mouth slightly opened. As if my words had sobered him up, his eyes focused on me more intensely.
I waited for recognition to cross his face. Something.
Something that would tell me he knew.
Something that would tell me he remembered us.
Something that would tell me he still loved me. That I was still his everything. That I could still be the one person to save him the way he’d been the one person who could save me.
But he stared at me blankly.
“You don’t… remember?” I asked.
“Should I? Fuck. I would’ve remembered if you’d told me those things, Jems.” He lightly slapped his head. “Sorry, I mean… Jemma.”
“You can call me Jems. I like it when you do.”
“You like it when I do,” he repeated my words. “Jemma, why do you keep talking like… like we’ve been back in contact. You seem… I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m getting here. Why are you really here?”
“To save you.”
“To save me,” he said, words stale. “Sorry, but… I’m no longer—”
“No longer in a place where someone can save you? Past the point of no return? A lifeless soul inside a body? Believe me, I’ve heard myself say the same things.”
“I don’t… I don’t understand.” His brows formed a V, a look of confusion crossing his face.
“Oh, I think you do.”
I lifted from my seat and migrated over to him, steps slow. He rose from his seat as I made it to him, as if to greet me. He stood strong, features stoic, as if he needed to hold me back in order to guard against his heart. As I neared him, a jolt of energy rushed through my veins, pumping through my arms.
My hand ran over his, tracing his flesh. Feeling him for the first time in fifteen years. Unlike spirit Jamie, I could feel the bumps in his hands, the bones beneath the skin. No vibration accompanied the touch. Simply skin against skin, though still magical. Jamie didn’t flinch. Didn’t react at all. He gazed down at me, brow still scrunched in question.
“What are you doing?” he breathed. He didn’t move away.
“We all have shit we go through,” I whispered, ignoring what he’d just said. “Myself included.” I reached my other arm forward, grabbing the fingers of his free hand in mine. I worried that he’d pull away, tell me I was nuts for coming in here after fifteen years and randomly showing these affectionate gestures. But Jamie never blinked, his breath dancing across the bridge of my nose. He leaned his head forward, stopping right before his forehead leaned against mine.
