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His shoulders tense. “A book?”
“Yes, something to put all my thoughts and feelings, and experiences into one place.”
It takes him a moment, but he says, “If it helps you, crack on.”
“I think it will. It feels right whenever I think about it. Like, for once, everything is falling into place.”
He takes hold of my hand, and says, “Whatever you need, let me know.”
“I do need one thing.”
“Name it.”
“Can you pick me up a laptop?”
“Done.”
I have a focus and for once it isn’t a man. I kick the covers off of me and sit up.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“You always make me feel better.” Sliding down onto the floor beside him, I rest my head on his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Lou. Evie is just as lucky to have you as you are to have her. You’re a good husband and a good brother. If you ever doubt it, remember this moment because, like you, I don’t ever lie.”
I rise to my feet and smile down at him. “Now, I hope Evie saved me some dinner. I’m starving.”
His chuckle fills the room and I take his hand and help him up to his feet.
“She did. Come on.”
The shift in atmosphere from the lingering sadness in my room to the cosy setting downstairs rids the last of the darkness in my mind and heart.
“Auntie Lexi, are you feeling better now?” Tommy asks.
Sitting beside him at the kitchen table as he draws his pictures, Louis retrieves my dinner from the oven and places it in front of me.
“I’ll be just fine once I’ve eaten, Tommy, don’t you worry about me.”
He slides the picture he was working on closer to me.
“I was drawing this for you to cheer you up.”
I’m guessing the stick figures are me and him, holding hands with the sun, a bright orange blob in the corner, and a bright blue sky. It’s happiness and love in colourful crayons.
“Well, it certainly cheered me up. Thank you. I’m going to put it up in my room.”
His smile is as bright as his picture, and I pick up my knife and fork and dig into the toad in the hole Evie cooked up.
This is all I need. Me, myself, and my family. At the end of the day, when the time comes to leave this life, it’s them who will be there. Men come and go, but family, they’re forever.
It wouldn’t be healthy to have spent the last five days in bed and then get straight to writing on a laptop. I made myself shower and get dressed. I forced myself to put my boots on and then my jacket and leave the house. I’ve been walking around Eastford for the last two hours and when I stop and realise where I am, I’m not far from the hair salon where Evie works. Hopefully, she’ll be due a lunch break soon. When she thought it was me who got her a job at the salon, it was Louis. I knew the owner a long time ago, but I haven’t spoken with her in years.
I stand out front watching Evie laugh and chat as she cuts a client’s hair. She’s busy, I turn to go home, well, back to Louis’s when she glances up and sees me. She waves me in with a welcoming smile. I push through the door and step into the scent of hairspray and gossip.
“Hey, what are you doing over this side of town?” she asks as I take a seat on the couch by the window.
“I went for a walk and ended up here. You due a lunch break soon?”
