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Stepping outside, the crisp air tickles my neck and a shudder runs down my back. It feels so much lighter now. As soon as I let myself into the house, I stare into the mirror for long moments. I’m really liking my new style.
While the house is empty, I make myself a coffee and settle down at the kitchen table and grab a pen and a notepad. I jot down the first memory that comes to mind.
When you come from a loving home, parents don’t stress about getting their sons into the barbers or their daughters to their hair appointments. It’s something that goes without thinking, just as important as paying the rent. It’s another necessity bill you deal with. It’s inexpensive, nothing to worry about. But when one of your parents abandoned you and you’re left with a father who would knock you silly for even asking for money for a haircut, it’s a luxury. Why would he hand over a tenna or so for his child to get their hair trimmed, or in my brother’s case, get a fresh fade at the barber's, when he could spend that ten pounds on a bottle of whiskey or pay for a pack of cigarettes. Something as simple as a haircut has the ability to become an unachievable dream. I had eight inches of hair chopped off today, had a few layers added in and feathering framing my face and it’s done wonders for my self-esteem. There are so many examples I could list of things we should have had as children that were luxuries to us then, but come easy to us now…
I continue writing, not feeling like I’m having my own pity party for one. My purge continues and the pen flies across the page. This is my story and Louis was right. Walking away is a strength. I’m not locked up today because I walked away the other day. That’s fucking progress. It’s my power.
Chapter Ten
Manik
Warmth spreads down the side of my body and Lexi’s soft lips blaze a trail across my chest. I could get used to waking up like this every single morning. She keeps on like this, I’ll never let her go. She can kick and scream, even try to beat me with a bat, I’ll still hold on to her.
Her breath hits my neck and a moment later, her lips are travelling down my chest. My dick springs to attention and when her fingers wrap around him, I buck my hips to urge her on.
“Your dick’s certainly missed me, baby.”
That’s not Lexi.
My eyes fly open, and Shay is lying beside me, in only a thong and messy bed hair. Rolling onto my side, I push up from the floor and put as much distance between us as I can. I snatch my jeans up off of the floor and quickly dress.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I bellow.
“What did it look like? I’m trying to get us back to how we were. After you left me untouched the other night, you owe me.”
Un-fucking-believable. Even sleeping on the floor isn’t enough of a deterrent to keep her away.
“How we were before? You mean before you threatened to talk about what I did?”
She rolls her eyes and drags herself up, not caring that her body is on show. I tell myself she won’t be a problem for much longer. It’s the only thing I can do to remain sane.
“Come on, Vin,” she drawls. “You know I’d never say anything. I just said it to get your attention.”
“I’m sorry but I can’t see past it,” I tell her. Not trusting her being upset, I add, “Just give me some time.”
Her brows knit together. “How much time?”
“I don’t know, Shay,” I snap. “Just back off and let me breathe, for fuck’s sake. We break up and then you’re here and threatening to put me in prison for years. How am I supposed to bounce back from that?”
Throwing her hands up in the air, she shrieks, “How many times do I have to say I didn’t mean it?”
“You can’t come back from saying that shit even once!” I bellow.
“Please, babe, we can make this work. We always do. What do I have to do?”
Telling her to leave won’t help so I keep my mouth shut and I pick up my keys, phone, and cigarettes.
“I’ve got club shit to deal with today, keep yourself busy here while I’m gone. I’ll have a prospect bring you food if I’m not back in time.”
“Vin…”
Throwing open the door, I walk out on whatever she was going to say. I’m on edge and I don’t fucking like it. I need to do something, anything.
I head for my bike and start her up. I ride. It’s always helped clear my head, but it doesn’t work for me today. I pull up on Psycho’s street, glad his bike isn’t here. She’s so close yet so far from me. I turn my bike off and swing my leg over, moving to lean against the wall and light a cigarette. From the first night I met her, I’ve been drawn to her like a moth to a flame. And where I’ve never felt anything for a woman before, I’ve steered clear of that flame. No woman’s been worth getting burned over. But Lexi, I’d walk into the flame and let it consume me just to be around her. She’s unlike any woman I’ve met and while I still don’t know everything about her, I want to spend the time finding it all out.
One of the bedroom windows lights up and I catch a brief sighting of her as she closes the drapes. Just one quick glance of her soothes me and rather than trying to fight it, I let it run through me and sit back on my bike. It’s enough for now.
Finishing my cigarette, I grind the butt out underneath my boot and straddle my bike. I lied when I said I had club shit to deal with. It was the only excuse I knew she wouldn’t argue about.
