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He looks annoyed.Really annoyed.
Mom's shoulders are tense, and I know mine are too. Why can't I ever do the right things? Say the right things? I've been on this island for less than a day, and already I've flirted with Evie's future father-in-law, insulted him, and embarrassed myself. Perfect.
Sensing the shift in mood, Dad clears his throat. "So, what made you want to go the public service route, Judah? I understand your practice has been doing incredibly well."
Across the table from me, Judah turns his gaze to Dad. "There's quite a large discrepancy in perinatal healthcare for women of color in D.C. and nationwide, really. I'm only one man, I can only see so many patients, so I joined a task force the CDC has formed to address the imbalance."
Oh good, so he's also an expert in vaginas and a feminist saint.
Everyone at the table agrees, praising Judah for his efforts, but he still doesn't look pleased. When my drink arrives, I thank him quietly and take a long sip, hoping the alcohol will cut through the paralyzing anxiety that's only tightened since I learned who he really is. It's good, really good, and I don't know why that hurts so much. What he thinks of me shouldn't matter to me this much, but I ache for the return of easy going, friendly man who smiled at me on the shuttle.
It was so easy to be happy around him.
When he gets up to use the bathroom, I wait a minute and follow, lingering awkwardly in the hall outside the bathrooms until Judah emerges. He stops short at the sight of me, his jaw tight.
I take a deep breath. "Listen, I'm really sorry about the wine thing, I didn't mean to come off as ungrateful or anything." I reach into my purse and pull out a twenty-dollar bill, pressing it into his hands. "And about…. you know.Earlier. I swear I didn't know."
Judah is frozen, staring at me with the bill held loosely in his hands, clearly startled. "You think I'm angry you didn't like the wine? And about… earlier?"
I shrug, already edging back toward the dining room. "I should go. I just wanted to apologize. I didn't want this week to be awkward or anything."
I hurry off before he can formulate a response. Being alone with him for too long seems dangerous, especially out of sight in darkened hallways, away from our family members. I wish I could shut off my attraction toward him, and think of him as a purely paternal figure, but it seems like a lost cause. Seeing him all cleaned up, wearing that button-up which is just a little too tight across his shoulders….
What the hell does this guy do when he isn't delivering babies and crusading for equality in women's healthcare? Deadlift canned goods at the soup kitchen? Save puppies from trees? I bet right at this moment there's a line of really hot, forty-year-old divorcées waiting outside his professionally organized, sustainably powered townhouse, just waiting for their chance to rip his scrubs off.
The thought makes a sour taste fill my mouth, and I have to bite back a scowl as I slip back into the chair beside my mother while she watches through narrowed eyes.
"We need to discuss-" She begins, her voice lowered so Reuben, who's sitting further down the table and chatting with Evie and Dad, doesn't hear. But whatever she has to say to me falls away when Judah returns to the table, looking far more relaxed than he did when I left him, smiling at the both of us.
"Isobel," He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the bill I passed him outside the bathroom, "You were walking back ahead of me, and I saw you drop this."
Chapter Four
Judah
Thesunhassetcompletely when dinner finally ends, and I make it back to my villa, feeling hollowed out.
We were only at that table for a little more than an hour, but any respect or goodwill I'd previously felt toward John and Caroline Bradley died long before the end of it. Their preferential treatment of Evie over Isobel wasn't just noticeable; it was blatant.
To her credit, Evie tried to pull her sister into the conversation a few times, but all it took was a condescending comment from Caroline or a dismissive laugh from John to send Isobel back into her shell. She spent the entire meal staring at her plate, taking the smallest possible sips of her wine as though worried if she finished it, I would buy her another, and picking at her house salad while the rest of the table ate lobster.
That beautiful, glowing woman I glimpsed earlier today was reduced to a ghost by her parents, and I had to bite my tongue so many times there's a swollen ridge along it now.
It couldn't have been clearer that any interest John and Caroline showed in her life over dinner was purely for my benefit, and I have no idea how I'll sit back and watch this shit for the next week. How the hell does it not bother Reuben? Does he not notice them fawning over Evie while treating Isobel like some distant cousin they're obliged to entertain?
For fucks sake, she thought I was upset with her for not enjoying a drinkshe didn't choose.
My chest tightening at the memory of her guarded expression when she met me outside the bathroom, I wander distractedly through the darkened bungalow to the back deck, undoing the buttons of my shirt. Outside, apart from the gentle lapping of waves, the ocean is dark and quiet. It's beautiful here, peaceful, but I couldn't feel more at odds with my surroundings.
I want her, and I can't.
Bracing my hands on the railing, I drop my head and take several long, steadying breaths.
Maybe I'm getting old, but I don't remember ever feeling this burning, possessive need for a woman, never mind one I barely know. I can't get involved with her. Any attraction I might feel, any hopes I might have had that all those dramatic love-at-first-sight stories weren't complete bullshit, all of it became irrelevant the moment I learned who she was.
It was nothing—a passing flirtation. I'll allow myself to be disappointed, keep my distance from her, and after this wedding is over, I'll get past it. That's all I can do.
I'm about to turn back and go inside for the night when my eye is caught by light shining from the nearest bungalow as the back doors open and someone steps out onto the porch.
