AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Flossing.”
“Flossing?” I asked.
“I used to floss after I brushed my teeth, and she told me that was wrong. You’re supposed to floss before. So I looked it up, and it turns out that the American Dental Association doesn’t give a shit. They’re just happy that you’re flossing. Either way is acceptable. But Hannah insisted that I needed to floss before I brush and so I said fine, it’s not a big deal.
“But then there were a series of little things like that, and it grew into bigger things like her saying she didn’t like the friends I had. It wasn’t that she said I couldn’t hang out with them. It was that, if I wanted to hang out with them, it became a whole ordeal of validating her and asking for permission. It just became too much trouble. It wasn’t worth it.”
I nodded. I’d seen my share of controlling behavior. It was part of living to some extent.
“Why didn’t you break up with her?” I asked.
“That’s the wild thing,” he said. “We did break up. But we stayed living together since the lease hadn’t expired yet. And then things got even worse.”
His eyes went to Bagel, whose head was now resting completely on the floor. Her eyelids looked very heavy, and she was heading off to the Land of Nod.
“Anyway, that’s all behind me now. I’m trying to focus on looking forward, at least for now. Give me a few months of perspective, and I’ll have a better idea of what happened.”
We were both petting Bagel now, watching the silly cartoon with the broad animation and bouncy sound effects. It wasn’t as frantic as most cartoons were — it was actually fairly calm and somewhat soothing. As Bagel was going to sleep, I felt a similar desire. But along with it was a desire to cuddle up to someone. Bagel seemed like the obvious choice for a cuddle buddy, but as I leaned into her, so did Leo. I didn’t fight it.
Our faces got awfully close together as we did so, almost as though we were playing chicken with each other. I wanted to kiss him. God, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted his body on top of mine, pounding me into submission; although, if I was honest with myself, I didn’t really want that. Not really. Only as a fantasy or something.
So when his lips came closer to mine, I shot up with a jolt.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, unable to think of any clearer words or excuses to throw at him.
“I’m sorry,” Leo said, standing up after me, “I didn’t mean to—”
“We can’t,” I said, which was the last complete thought I managed to muster. The rest were just a series of words. “You. Me. Doctor. Uterus. Baby guy. Kissing? No, I…”
I didn’t want to explain myself or talk about it. I just needed to get out of there.
When I went for the door, I didn’t look back. I walked next door to my apartment and locked the door behind me before heading straight for my bed. The vibrator was right where I left it.
Maybe it might not make a lot of sense to someone else for me to use a machine and fantasize about something that could very well have happened for real, but it made sense in my head. And I’m the only one I needed to justify it to.
But good God, I came so hard I gave myself a charley horse.
CHAPTER8
***LEO***
What the fuck was I thinking? Keeping my personal and professional life in separate compartments in my mind was one thing, but there still had to be a connection to remind me that kissing a patient is a major ethics violation. Like a no questions asked, lose your license kind of transgression. Even coming close, like I did, could lead me into a whole mess of paperwork and conversations with an ethics board.
And then she left in a hurry without a word. Part of me wondered if she was going to report me — if she did, I’d have absolutely no defense — but I was more worried about what she actually thought and if I’d done something wrong. I wanted to run after her and beg her to come back. We could have slowed things down if that’s what she wanted. Or at least I thought we could have.
Still, it was probably for the best that she got out there when she did. I only wished she had left sooner. Well, that wasn’t true. I wish she’d never left. But if she was going to leave at all, I wish she’d done so before I put my mouth close to hers and got the slightest taste of what she had to offer. Because once that happened, there was no going back. Our pull was magnetic. I’ve never felt this way before. Ever. But, we still had to live next to each other, and things were about to get awkward. Real awkward.
As I was pacing back and forth, replaying everything that happened in my mind and wondering if I’d done something wrong, I heard her scream with ecstasy again from through the neighboring wall at a volume that made the previous one sound like a mouse squeak. It was loud and long and hot as all hell.
Talk about giving mixed signals. One minute she’s telling me to stop, and the next, she’s taking matters into her own hands behind closed doors.
Then I remembered that she was a virgin, and it made things make a little more sense. She’d held onto her v-card this long, she wasn’t about to give it away during an episode of Puppy Palace to some neighbor she’d just met who also happened to be her doctor.
Fine. But if she was going to get herself off, I wasn’t about to stay in the living room like an idiot with a raging hard-on and do nothing about it.
Bagel remained fast asleep on the floor and I moved to my bedroom, lying down on my bed as the cartoon continued to play softly in the other room. I kicked the door closed with my foot and began to imagine what would have happened if she hadn’t up and left so suddenly. Already, I was on the verge of bursting, but I held out a little bit longer to let a fantasy settle in my mind and get comfortable. I was in no hurry. I wanted to see exactly what would have happened in excruciating detail.
That slight touch of the lips could have turned into a full on kiss and us making out. My hands could have been all over her perfect frame, feeling every inch of her and listening to her moan in pleasure with every touch.
