AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What does that mean?” Sloane asked.
“It’s a problem with Dorothy’s heart.”
“What?!” I said.
“Typically, the aorta should come from the left side and the pulmonary artery from the right, but she has it reversed.”
I couldn’t control my breathing anymore. I was hyperventilating.
“She’s in surgery now,” Dr. Lucas said.
“My newborn is having open heart surgery?!” I cried.
“Mila,” Dr. Lucas said, trying to calm me.
“Is she going to be okay?” Sloane demanded.
“For this particular surgery, we’ll just need to be patient.” She eyed the machines beside me, which were beeping rapidly and probably displaying all sorts of warning signs. “You’ve had an exhausting day. Let me give you something to help you sleep for now.”
“But what are the odds?” I demanded. “Why can’t anyone here ever give me an answer to my questions?!”
Dr. Lucas stood firmly in position and calmly responded. “Because we don’t know. And we won’t know until we get in there and have a closer look. I don’t want to give you false hope, but I also don’t want to scare you. This is a significant surgery, especially on a premature birth, but it’s necessary. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be doing it.”
I didn’t have a response to that. My body was riled up and I wanted to respond, but she answered my question, and I couldn’t argue with it.
“For now, though,” she said, “you need to get some sleep.”
“I don’t want to sleep!” I said. “I want my baby!”
“Mila,” she said. “When Dorothy gets out of surgery, she’s going to need her mother. As your doctor and her doctor, too, I need you to sleep. Let me help you do that.”
“Mila, I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now, but as a mother, I agree with Dr. Lucas. You need the rest.”
I saw the concern in both their eyes. It’s true that I was exhausted and wanted to sleep, though I didn’t know that I’d be able to. All I wanted was my baby, but I had to start thinking like a mother now. If me at my best was what was best for Dorothy, then that’s what I had to do.
“Okay,” I said defeated.
Dr. Lucas injected something into my IV and asked me to count down from 100.
I didn’t even make it to 98.
CHAPTER30
***LEO***
It was just another day at the hospital, checking up on some patients that had their procedures done at the hospital instead of in the consultatory. Mila hadn’t ever fully left my mind, though I was sure I’d never see her again. That was the cliche, wasn’t it? “The one that got away.” I’d always heard that experience was what you get when you don’t get what you want and, in the future, I knew I’d never make a mistake like that ever again. If I was ever fortunate enough to meet another woman that I cared half as much about as I did Mila, I’d commit to her 100%, and there wouldn’t be a hint of doubt in my voice.
It was through Mila that I learned that not only was I ready to be a father, but I wanted to be one, assuming the right person came along. Unfortunately, finding such a person felt like a near impossibility. Lighting didn’t strike twice, as the saying went, but maybe, one day, there’d at least be a tiny spark that could remind me of the bolt of love and passion that I’d gotten from her.
Suddenly, like it does sometimes in the hospital, things suddenly felt more urgent. It wasn’t any one thing, but a general feeling of anxiousness in the area. Rather than go leisurely from room to room, nurses moved with an increased urgency. I stopped at one of the nurses' stations to ask what was going on.
“Emergency heart surgery on a newborn,” said Sarah, the nurse on duty at the desk.
I wasn’t a surgeon to begin with — I didn’t have the long-term focus and steady hands for what the job required — and infant surgery was particularly challenging due to the size of the patients and specialized equipment required. In situations like this, the best thing to do was stay out of the way and let the experts do their job.
It was a frustrating, powerless experience to be in one of these environments, especially considering the personalities of everyone involved. We all got into medicine to help people, but we couldn’t all be the hero every single time and, often, we were fighting against that life-saving instinct we’d all had instilled in us from a very young age. The best thing to do, to keep from getting too antsy, was to find some way to distract ourselves.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
