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And with that he leaves me. My shoulders rise and fall as the anger grows inside me. I keep calm, waiting to be released. All the while, I realize we can find the kink in the chain.
All I need to know is how the fuck I had no idea this prick was watching us. Somewhere along the line one of my men knew and chose not to tell me. If I find that thread and pull, every man who works for me but failed to do their damn job is as good as dead. Starting with every cop on payroll who knew the two who worked for Mauer.
BRAELYNN
Iknow the second I step through the door that I won’t be able to sit alone in Declan’s bedroom. Lying in bed as the memories of all we’ve done and all we’ve been through fight for all my attention. I’ll only get trapped in my thoughts and emotions, and that will make me feel even more helpless.
The little black velvet box from the jeweler’s sits on the dresser and I stare at it longer than a sane person would. Swallowing thickly, I tell myself that I can at least try to wait patiently. I don’t have to call for help every time there’s a problem. The part of me that wants to be as independent as I possibly can says I should only reach out if something’s really wrong.
That it’s good for me to be alone right now.
But the other part of me knows that’s very much not the case. There hasn’t been much lately that serves as a good memory, other than being with Declan, so it’s all left me shaken and unsure of myself.
Without thinking, I move through the motions. I take off my coat and hang it up. Go to the bedroom and wash my face. I pull off my top and replace it with a soft sweater. It’s comforting, it’s luxurious even, but it doesn’t stop the racing thoughts in all this silence.
Then, as slowly as I can, I go back to the shared space of this massive estate and to what seems to be the gathering spot: the kitchen.
All the while my heart beats harder and harder not knowing how any of this will go.
The clock on the oven says it’s only been ten minutes. Ten minutes of shaking, ten minutes of triggering moments that threaten to undo the barely put together composure I’m holding onto. I’ve never been one to reach out for help, but something tells me I need to. I grab my phone and send Aria a quick text.Are you busy? Can I come hang out?
I’m in the studio and have a glass of wine with your name on it,she texts back.
It’s a huge house and these wings are like mazes, but I remember the way to her studio. Aria opens the door just as I raise my hand to knock.
“Hi.” She looks concerned, but not worried, which might be just what I need at this moment. “You doing okay?” She moves slightly, her black silk maxi dress swaying around her hips as she does. The dress is simple, and she’s only brushed her hair, yet everything about her looks expensive in a way that I could never achieve. An easy confident beauty. She ushers me into the room and I’m hit with the scent of roses and lavender. Her candles are lit.
I don’t move just yet, trying to smile but my lips barely curve. “Not really. But I guess there’s nothing I can do but wait for him to get out. And…I’m hungry.” Before I can ask her if she’s eaten, she cuts me off.
“That last one we can do something about.” She glances behind her and then quickly blows out the candles. “Would you rather cook or order something?”
“Cook,” I say instantly. “I need something to do…you know?”
She nods in understanding as she steps out into the hallway. “Cook first, then we could read cards, if you wanted. Or just talk. Or watch a show.” She rattles off options and doesn’t hesitate to the lead the way. The mix of emotions that comes over me is sudden and unexpected.
This woman owes me nothing. She barely even knows me. Yet she walks beside me, willing to stop whatever she was doing just to be here for me.
My throat tightens as I tell her I’ll be better once I’ve eaten. I think.
“I get that, too.” Aria locks up the studio. We head to the kitchen as she tells me Carter is going to fix it all and everything will be all right. All the while she talks. She never stops talking as she rummages through cupboards and the fridge. “Pasta and Bolognese sauce?”
I can only nod, not trusting myself to speak and just grateful that she’s doing this.
Aria gets out a pot and passes it to me. It’s one of the fancy ones, heavy, and looks brand new. With the tap above the stove, I fill it and then light the burner.
“So…how’d it go? Before…before the cops showed up and killed the mood?” she asks me as she leans against the counter.
It takes me a moment to speak up, I have to clear my throat first.
“It was really good.” I turn away from the pot. My mom thought the old saying about watched pots was true, so we always angled ourselves away while we waited for the water to heat. “Until it wasn’t.”
“Before that, though, you had a good time? Like did you find a ring?” she asks, glancing down at my hand that is very much lacking a diamond.
I nod, and then wish I had it with me. I wish I could show her.
“I bet he loved that.” Her tone is soft and comforting and something about it soothes a sadness that won’t let go.
“I think he did,” I say and a gentle smile finally pulls my lips up.
