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“Well whenever you’re ready I would love to see it,” she tells me while reaching up for a wine glass.
I can’t help it, I ask her what I couldn’t ask Nate, “Do you know why?”
She shakes her head gently as the glass hits the counter. As she removes the cork from the bottle she says, “I wouldn’t worry about it. Carter said the warrant should have never been approved.”
“So he knows?” I ask, my tone hopeful and I don’t know why.
She pours the wine, humming a yes and then says, “I wouldn’t ask unless you really want to know.”
I can only nod and then look back to check the water. Since its not boiling, I check the flame and realize it’s on low. I increase it, pushing down the emotions and all the questions piling up.
I don’t want to know. I don’t want to be a part of it. But my heart clenches, I want to know that he’ll be all right.
“What else?” she prompts me, changing the subject back to the good parts of today. “Was it tough to pick out a ring?”
“No. Nothing could measure up to the first one I really loved. Took a little while to convince myself of that, though.” I can’t help where my mind goes, “Maybe if I hadn’t taken so long—”
“Hey.” Aria looks me in the eyes. “Don’t second-guess yourself like that. None of this has anything to do with you.”
I only nod and try to avoid her prying gaze for as long as I can until I’m forced to look up.
Aria gives me a look that’s only slightly skeptical. “It seems like something else is on your mind.”
“I’m scared for Declan.”
“Don’t be.”
She’s so confident in her answer, lifting the glass to her lips and offering me one. I let out a laugh. “I don’t think I can stop worrying. I was also thinking about my mom and just…being married without her there, or without her even knowing. Getting married is it, you know? It means I’ll be in this life forever, and it doesn’t make sense to me that she wouldn’t know about it.” The words pour out of me in exasperation.
There’s so much that goes into a life. Kids laughing in a bedroom when they’re supposed to be asleep. Cooking meals with your husband, as long as he’s not in jail. A thousand little things like a wedding ceremony that your mom can be at and wedding pictures to look back on and….things like a wedding gown.
Aria nods. “Invite her here. Does she like Italian?”
I swallow thickly, knowing the first question my mother is going to ask me. “What about Declan?”
She pats my arm, then turns to put a saucepan on the stove. “He’ll be out soon. It’s only going to be a deposition or an interrogation. They’ve all been through this before. Could be a few hours, could be a day or so.”
I shake my head slightly and stay silent. I don’t like the thought of Declan being questioned or interrogated. I don’t want him anywhere but next to me.
The flame clicks on and Aria scoots me to the right so she can take over the cooking.
She talks all the while gathering an onion, fresh tomatoes, garlic, a few cans of crushed tomatoes, and spices. “He means it when he says he’ll protect you. Carter will, too. And now that the paperwork is filed and you two are legally married, they can’t question you about him.” Aria gives me an encouraging smile. “So I wouldn’t worry about that, either.”
A shiver goes down my spine. It’s eerie how Aria knows everything without me telling her. “I actually…still have to sign it.”
She whips her head around toward me. “Well, sign it.” Aria glances back at the saucepan and the ingredients she’s arranged on the countertop. She lifts her hands, but then she pauses and looks back at me. “Youaregoing to marry him, right?” Her question is softly spoken, not judgmental, but once again concerned.
“Yes. I want to marry him.” I answer without thinking and only after it’s spoken do I realize how true it is.
“I love him,” I whisper to her but also to me as tears prick the back of my eyes.
Aria lets out a heavy breath. “Okay, good.”
She’s clearly relieved, but my stomach drops from the way she said it. I’m beginning to understand the situation with far more clarity than I’ve had before. If I don’t marry Declan, things could go very badly for me. I don’t really have a choice, do I?
It makes all those things I wanted to experience with my mom by my side feel less important and more important at the same time. Obviously, not getting to cut a wedding cake with my mom looking on isn’t as important as our safety. But knowing that our lives are so fragile that we have to do everything in our power to protect ourselves makes me want it even more.
I want her to know my husband. I want her to know who I am when I’m with him. Who I’ve grown to be. I’m certainly not the same woman I was months ago, only worried about how I was going to pay my rent. My entire world has changed. I wouldn’t be the same without knowing the Cross brothers. And Declan wouldn’t be the same without me.
