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Chapter Two
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Finley might have beenborn in Cedar Bee, but she had spent a good portion of her life away at boarding school and then at college and had only been back to stay for the last eight months or so.
She loved the little town at the foot of the mountain, surrounded by lush forests and friendly people. But her father planned to sell the house once...ifshe got married, and they would all live in the city when that happened.
She didn’tnotlike New York, but if she’d had her way, she would have preferred to stay in Cedar Bee.
As for the McCoys, she’d only vaguely heard of them as the mysterious family of lumberjacks who lived in the mountains and didn’t associate with anyone from the town.
“Wait, what? What legend?” Finley asked.
“More importantly, what schlongs?” Amanda added.
“Well, Aunt Flora came into the coffee shop after you left, Amanda, and she asked me if that was a McCoy she saw leaving the shop. I said, ‘Yes,’ and she said, ‘I wonder if the legend is still true.’ So I asked her about it, and she said the McCoys were known for their way, way, way above average length and girth downthereand that they were something of a legend. Apparently, she had an affair with a McCoy once when she was younger, and ‘the man nearly broke her.’ Her words. She said it was common knowledge in her time, and she said it had made it into the newspaper once.”
“Must have been a slow news day, that day,” Amanda snickered
Finley wasted no time whipping out her phone. If it had been said, true or not, the internet was bound to have something on it.
“Holy shit,” she exclaimed. “There was an erotic pamphlet that used to make its rounds, calledCornucopia,and they featured a snippet from an actual book calledA True Account Of The McCoys - A Lumberjack Family of Note.’ It’s a collection of interviews with ‘Sporting Woman’ recalling their experiences with some of the McCoy men,” Finley squealed.
“This is from someone called Gertie Belle in 1899,” Finley continued. “‘Sometimes them there men folk reckon their cranny-hunters be bigger than they was, but then the day Big Buck McCoy arrived with his whole bombard, nothing about them regular cranny-hunters mattered no more. Big Buck knew how to make an entrance. When he rolled back his iron beast, it was sure a sight to behold. Safe to say there ain’t a McCoy in history with less than a cannon come for cleaning.’”
“Cranny-hunters,” Amanda scoffed then laughed.
“See? So it makes perfect sense that Jagger McDreamy McCoy’scranny-hunteris as much a weapon of mass destruction as his predecessors.” Jenna slid off the bed, then bobbed her head up and down.
“There are other accounts as well. Frankie Pearl here says, ‘Holt McCoy’s whopping rooster almost done broke a girl’s back.’ Maggie Milkmaid says, ‘Holt’s son, Johnny McCoy only had to point his dick-all-mighty at her, and he gave her six children all at once,’” Finley finished.
“Not going to lie, an extra big cock has its benefits,” Amanda said, with a flush on her face, probably thinking about Arnie. Jenna nodded a little too enthusiastically, and they all knew she was thinking about Adam’s.
Well, Finley had zero cocks to think about, and it suited her just fine. So what if she was twenty-three years old and still a virgin? There were worse things to be, surely, than a virgin.
That’s how she justified it in her head anyway. The truth remained though; she was petrified of what losing her virginity required. Not necessarily the physical act (although she wasn’t entirely unmoved on that account, either), but the emotional one. Even if it were fleeting and casual, she would have to be naked with a man and open herself to him. She would have to be vulnerable.
Intimate.
Feelings were caught during those stages, and she didn’t think she could remain unfazed in that event.
“You think it’s true?” Jenna asked.
“I don’t know... but...” Amanda, who no one could bullshit, seemed to be buying into the hype of the legend.
“What the fudge?” Finley’s eyes widened. “I mean, can images lie?” Of course, they could, but for the purposes of their current amusement, she hoped not. She showed her phone to Amanda. “Look, here’s a picture of one of the ancestors. It's grainy, but that looks like a third leg, doesn’t it?”
