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Completely ignoring the death blow coming my way, I look down at a small hand wrapped around mine. The words in my ear start to form, coming from a voice I recognize but can’t place. Slowly, the arena comes back into focus. I see the students sitting in front of me, deathly quiet as the Assassins’ Guild talks of preparedness.
I hear Raphael’s quiet words, offering strength and support. Something he’s done for me more times than I can count.
And then I see her. Hayliel. She’s holding my hand in both of hers, stroking her fingers across my flesh.
Feelings that I’ve been suppressing for weeks rise to the surface. This girl has been through so much on her own, yet comforts those she cares about. She knows nothing of my past or the reason I’m like this, and yet here she is, helping to ground me. Someday, I want to tell her. I want her to know why I’m this way and share the part of myself that I usually keep hidden.
Her hand is soft, and I’m worried she’ll let go before I’m ready. But I have to let her go. Raphael has been upfront with me from the start about his feelings toward her, and I’d never get in the way of his happiness. Or hers.
There are no words I could give them now to show my gratitude, so instead I only offer them each a smile. Raphael knocks his knee against mine, and I expect Hayliel to pull her hand from mine, but she squeezes it instead.
“Are you good?” Raphael whispers, and I nod, not trusting my voice yet.
A prick of unease runs down my spine, and I look up to find one of the Assassins’ Guild members scowling at us. Except it’s not directed at us at all, I realize. Only Hayliel.
I say nothing, choosing to watch as she glances his way every so often with an odd look on her face. Resignation, perhaps.
Raphael notices too. “Damn, sunshine. I’ve only seen that guy twice this semester, and both times he’s been glaring at you. What the hell is his problem?”
Hayliel ducks her chin and looks down at her hands where they sit wrapped around mine. “Oh. That’s my house leader, Zeke. It’s nothing. I’ve come to realize that’s just what his face does. Poor guy.”
Raphael and I don’t respond to her attempt at nonchalance, but we share a look. We’ll be keeping an eye on him.
The assembly ends, and the principal sends us off with a reminder of the upcoming curfew. Neither one of us moves yet, content to skip the crowd as they rush to exit the arena.
Raphael leans forward so he can see us both. “I don’t know about you two, but I’d like to escape all the doom and gloom for a little while, at least before the rules set in. Why don’t we head to the Knowledge library and see if we can find anything to help your wing search?”
Hayliel beams at him, and I can’t help but watch her excitement as she agrees. She turns to me then, her gaze open and questioning, like she’s not sure I’ll be interested.
Internally, I let out a sigh of relief that she doesn’t seem to realize just how far I’d go to make her happy. That’s a secret only for me. One I’ll keep buried deep inside, far away from Raphael and Hayliel. They’ll make each other happy, I know it.
“I think that’s the perfect way to spend our last night before curfew. Raph, why don’t you take her and I’ll catch up in a few. I have to stop at my room first.”
He eyes me skeptically, but I ignore it. I really do need to grab my slate, but most of all, I just want a moment alone to compose myself. Raphael has helped me work through my flashbacks before. Countless times, really. So I know he’s aware of my routine. I need to shower and rinse away the sweat and images still lingering in my mind.
“You’ll be okay alone?” Hayliel asks with another squeeze of my hand. “We could come with you for support, if you’d like? I promise not to snoop through your things … Too much, anyway.” She smiles, and my chest tightens.
“I’ll be fine. But I’d like you to ask me that again next time.”
“Deal.”
She stands then, letting go of my hand and the chill burrows into my bones immediately. For a second, she only watches the crowd of students gingerly making their way toward the small exit on the other side of the arena.
“What are you doing?” Raphael asks her.
In a flash, her gray wings burst free of her back and she spreads them wide. “I swear, those fools would lose their wings if they weren’t attached. Let’s get out of here.”
She reaches out a hand to both of us then, and we take it, letting our own wings free. With a push off the bleachers, we’re in the air, soaring above the crowd of students who stop and stare at us as we make our way toward Knowledge house. Hayliel laughs, the sound catching on the wind and seeming to wrap around my very being.
How does she manage such happiness in the face of everything that’s happened to her? I could learn a thing or two from it, I think.
It’s harder to unclasp her hand from mine than I care to admit, but I do so anyway and head toward my balcony. Tapping my wing against the sensor, the door unlocks and I enter the room with an audible sigh. I waste no time jumping in the shower and washing away the grime and dirt from my body, forcing the memories with it.
Once I’m dressed, I grab my slate, noticing that it’s only been fifteen minutes since I left them, and head out the door and down the stairs.
Surprise hits me when I find them waiting there instead of in the library.
“What’s going on?” I ask, worry thick in my voice.
