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“He did? When? Why didn’t he wake us?”
Wey didn’t answer right away, so I thought he’d fallen back asleep, but then he sighed, yawned, and blinked his eyes open. “He said he needed to clear his head.”
That ache in my chest grew, and I swallowed thickly. “I… I was hoping we could spend the day together. I… didn’t mean to sleep so long.”
Wey sat up, rubbed a hand over his face, then angled his body toward me, gently rubbing my back. “He’ll be back soon.”
It took me a moment to gather enough courage to ask the question that had been burning inside me since the moment I injured Nica. “Does he hate me? For what I did? For hurting him?”
“No.” Wey used his finger to gently turn my chin so I’d meet his gaze. “He’s never blamed you for that. Not even a little bit. One of the first things he said after he woke and remembered what happened was that he needed to find you and make sure you were okay, and that you didn’t blame yourself.”
Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply, trying to let his answer settle over my skin. That had been a worry I’d carried for months. It would take me some time to truly believe his words. Although, guilt at the fact that the first thing he’d wanted to do was to make sureIwas okay began to eat away at me.
Wey said, “That’s never been the thing he was upset about. He’s hurt that you left us behind—we both are.”
“That’s not what happened. I didn’t leave you behind. I was trying to protect you—protect everyone—from my magic. I didn’t mean to…”
He nodded. “But you did, Theon. You left us behind.” He shrugged. “No matter your intention, that’s exactly what you did.”
Theon.He and Nica had been calling me that. Notprecious. Notlittle bird.Just Theon.
That ache came back, burning and eating away at my insides. I knew he was right. It didn’t matter if I hadn’t meant to hurt them. Ihadhurt them. Deeply. The only thing I could do now was try to fix it… if I could fix it. “Am I… did I mess this up so badly there’s no hope of fixing it?”
“Nica and I will always love you, Theon. Always.”
That… didn’t sound like an answer. Still, I said, “I’ll always love you both, too.”
He nodded. “But I think the hurt you left us with will linger for a long time. I… I understand why you left—I do. But I still think you could’ve waited for us, or at least talked to me. We could’ve met up with you once Nica was healed. There were many other options, Theon, and while I understand what you did, I don’t like it, and I didn’t appreciate being left in the dark. I… Nica and I were both severely hurt by it—byyou.”
I swallowed, my heart constricted in my chest. I hadn’t meant to hurt them. The last thing I’d ever want to do was hurt any of my lovers, my family, but… I had. And I needed to take responsibility for that. I just… I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to apologize for something that big. I didn’t know how to prove to them that I was here now, and that I’d never leave them again.
Before I could formulate a response, he bent his knees up under the blanket and rested his forearms on them. “Did I ever tell you about the first fight Nica, Braz, and I fought together?”
My brow furrowed at the abrupt subject change, but I shook my head. “No.”
His lips quirked up in a semblance of a smile. “We lost.”
My eyes widened. “What? Really?”
“Yeah, if you can believe it.” He smirked. “It was my fault. I was pissed off at… everything, and unhappy that I’d been thrown together with some shifter and half-orc I didn’t know—or like. I was… a bit of a dick those first few weeks, if I’m being honest.”
“No,” I gasped out dramatically. “You don’t say.”
He laughed and nudged me. “Yeah, I know, such a surprise. But our first game was a disaster. I didn’t listen to my teammates or work with them at all, so when we were attacked by a group of over twenty goblins, I went off on my own, acting like I could take out every single one of them alone. But goblins are slimy little bastards. They’re quick, conniving, smart, great fighters, and they know exactly how to work as a team.”
He shook his head at himself before continuing. “When they had me separated from the others, they focused on taking me out. Of course, Nica and Braz decided to try and help. Next thing I know, there’s a tiger running for me and a half-orc behind him, watching his back. But Nica is fast—you’ve seen him move—so he was far ahead of Braz, and instead of being grateful, I was pissed.
“I moved even farther away from them, which left Nica alone between Braz and me. Alone and vulnerable. The goblins attacked him, and for a terrifying minute, I thought they were going to kill him.” He shook his head, his gaze distant, lost in a memory.
After a second, I cleared my throat. “What happened?”
“He kept on fighting. He could barely stand, but he kept going as Braz and I tried to make our way to him. People think Nica’s weak or unskilled because he jokes around and is always so happy, but he’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. It takes a special kind of someone to live the life we led and still bring joy to those around you.” He shook his head. “I honestly don’t know how he did it with only Braz and me for company for so long.”
That was something I’d questioned in the beginning, but I didn’t think Wey understood that he and Braz helped Nica with their own form of kindness every day. The three of them were a team. They worked well with each other because they fed off one another and built each other up, each in their own way.
Wey ran a hand over his bald head before resting his forearm on his knee again and staring off at the side of the tent. “Anyway, the tournament ringleader decided to make it a grand finale. He opened up the cages of other beasts and brought out the other Venerits to fight them all off. It was complete chaos, but it took some of the focus off of us, which was lucky. To this day, I believe Natas paid the ringleader off because we could’ve easily been killed—should have been, really. We were incredibly fortunate that we left that ring with our lives. Nica was in horrible shape, though. He could barely walk, was covered in gashes from goblin claws, and he’d broken a wrist.”
I winced at the thought, then had to close my eyes and swallow—hard—because a vision of Nica’s broken and burnt body floated through my mind. The memory of what I’d done to my sweet tiger. Even shaking my head didn’t make the memory vanish quickly enough.
