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I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.
“I’m so sorry. I love you, Nica. I love you so much.” There was movement behind me, and even though I knew I should probably walk through that tent flap and go for a run, my feet stayed planted to the ground. Theon’s arms wrapped around me from behind, his cheek pressed to my back, tears wetting my skin. “I’m so fucking sorry, Nica. I’m so sorry. I know it’s going to take a long time to build your trust again, but I swear I’ll never do anything like that again. I swear it.”
I didn’t believe him. How could I? He’d given me pretty words in the past, yet he’d trampled all over them the day he’d walked away.
He kissed my back. “Please don’t leave. Come back to bed. You can be angry at me from there just as easily as you can from out there, can’t you?”
I snorted. “Pretty sure I can be even angrier in bed.”
I felt his smile against my skin even as his hot tears made my back wet. “Please? I’m not… I’m not finished being alone with you and Wey. Once we leave this tent, everything else will become real again, and I just… I want to be with you two. For just a little while. Even if all we do is sleep or sit there in silence, I just… I want to be able to reach out and touch you.”
Taking a deep breath, I nodded because I wanted that, too. I was angry and more hurt than I could express, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wanted to be near him, even in anger.
We moved back to the bed, and I knew Wey was awake, but he was letting us talk it out ourselves. He was hurt and angry, too, and I was sure he’d have it out with Theon and Florin at some point, but he seemed to be handling it better than I was.
As we lay back on the bed with Theon in the center again, Wey met my eyes, silently asking if I was okay. I nodded at him even though I wasn’t. I hadn’t been okay for a long time.
Theon scooted into Wey’s arms, facing me, and when he reached out to touch my face, he hesitated and dropped his hand.
I scowled. “You can still touch me, for fuck’s sake.”
He sighed in relief, then started petting my hair for a long time. Wey fell back asleep again, but Theon and I lay there, staring at one another, not saying anything but taking each other in. Tears fell from his cheeks at one point and seeing them made my own start up. But neither of us said anything even then. I’d missed him, and I knew he’d missed me, too, but that didn’t erase the months of hurt.
After our tears dried up, I finally spoke, my voice a hoarse whisper. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
Something crossed his face, maybe something that looked a little like hurt. “I told you in my letters that we would. You had to know that we’d come back.”
I grunted, not agreeing or disagreeing with him.
A flash of sorrow crossed his face, and he ran his fingers through my hair again. “I love you, Nica.”
My heart clenched up inside my chest. How long had I longed to hear those words? How long had I questioned whether he’d ever truly meant them or not? Did he now? Did he truly mean them? He’d left me behind, but… but he was here now, and I supposed I should take him at his word. I owed him that much at least. “I love you, too, Theon.”
He smiled, but there was a layer of sadness over the expression, and I was sure all my smiles were the same. I didn’t think anything but time would help take that away.
Leaning in, he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, then tucked his head under my chin, hugging me tightly. “I’m so glad to be here with you, my sweet tiger.”
My chest clenched again, and I felt tears prick my eyes. Goddess, I was already sick of crying. I’d had enough of that to last a century. Giving him a squeeze, I kissed the top of his head and closed my eyes, unable to speak or return the sentiment out loud. Was I glad he was here? Yes, of course I was. But we never should’ve been apart to begin with.
As if sensing my turmoil, Wey lifted his head sleepily to meet my gaze. He stared for a long moment before he scooted closer, cupped my cheek, and leaned over Theon to press a slow, sweet kiss to my lips. His thumb ran along the skin under my eye, and he rested his forehead to mine for a moment before he settled back down. He kept his head on the pillow over the top of Theon, so he was kind of curled around him, but his face was near mine. He threw his arm over the both of us. We were lying in a heap, as close together as we could possibly be.
I finally had Theon in my arms, my little bird was finally here, safe, with me. But now that the shock of his return was wearing off, all of the hurt that I’d tried to stuff down for the past seven months had surfaced, and I didn’t know how to push it back down.
24
Theon
Asmile formed on my face before I’d fully woken, contentment filling my core. All of my men were together in the same place for the first time in months. Goddess, how I’d missed Wey and Nica.
I could feel the weight of Weylyn’s arm lying across my waist, feel his breath on the back of my neck. Chills of pleasure erupted along my skin, and my smile grew.
Covering Wey’s hand with one of my own, I reached out with my other, searching for Nica. The only thing that could make this moment better was if Nica was pushed up against me. He’d fallen asleep there but must’ve rolled over during our nap.
When my hand only met air and an empty mattress, my smile disappeared and I opened my eyes, searching for my tiger. He wasn’t beside me, so I leaned up to look on the other side of Wey. Maybe he’d moved over while we’d slept.
My brow furrowed, and an ache opened up in my chest when I didn’t find Nica there, either.
“He went for a run,” Wey mumbled without opening his eyes.
