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I stand up from the bed and take a deep breath. “Well, that settles it,” I say. “We’re going to wait to have sex.”
“What?” she asks, looking up at me in surprise. “What are we waiting for exactly?”
“You deserve a memorable experience,” I tell her. “So I will give you the moment you deserve.”
She looks shocked, and maybe a little awed. “You aren’t disappointed that I’m so inexperienced?” she asks quietly, suddenly looking so small and afraid.
This isn’t what I wanted for her. I didn’t want to be another man trying to control her life. I want to give her the world, and it starts with giving her the best experience of her life.
“Why would I be disappointed?” I ask her. “This way, you will be completely mine. Always and forever.”
She looks up at me again, confusion clouding her face. “You really don’t mind waiting?” she asks quietly.
“It’ll be difficult,” I tell her. “Maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I’m going to give you a first time worthy of you, my queen.”
I pick up her hand and kiss it, then let it drop as I slowly back out of the room. Tonight, I’ll leave her wanting more, but for the rest of her life, she’ll always be completely satisfied.
CHAPTERTEN
Kat
I hear birds chirping outside the windows and stretch under the covers. I get up slowly, then grab the remote control that controls the blackout blinds. I raise them halfway, letting the morning light fill my room.
It’s a huge space. Much too big for me, especially considering I have nothing to fill it with. Everything I owned was sent to Niko’s house before the wedding. All I have is a dress I hate and lingerie I despise.
Mama was so happy to pick this out for me. She sat me down before the wedding and told me everything I should expect from the first night with my husband. The way she told it, I would be an instrument for his pleasure. She mentioned nothing of mine. Apparently, I was expected to lie there and take it while my husband had his way with me.
I was expecting the same from Ivan, but then he gave me the most intense pleasure of my life. Even two days later, I can’t stop thinking of how his tongue swirled around inside of me, and the thought alone makes me wet. He’s unexpected, to say the least.
I think back to our conversation last night. When he found out I was a virgin, he gave me space. He didn’t try to touch me or coerce me into anything. He promised he’d wait and make my first time special. He essentially kidnapped me, but he didn’t do it for his own pleasure, apparently.
Something about that warms me, but it doesn’t change the fact I’m essentially a prisoner in his home. I have nothing here, and I don’t even want to leave this room. It would mean walking out in my underwear and the thin robe Mama bought so I could get ready in the church. I have no idea who might be in the apartment. There’s no way I’m going to explore it.
As much as I didn’t want to marry Niko, at least being his wife meant I could go back to school. Now everything is ruined. Ivan didn’t consider that when he stole me away. Of course, there’s no way he could have known, but it still kills me to know my dreams of going back to school have been dashed.
I was supposed to start my junior year and declare my major. I was going to become a computer scientist. I’d even considered doing a double major in criminology, knowing the extra workload wouldn’t be too much. If I’d married Niko, I would need the distraction.
Now, I have nothing. I will be a college dropout living with a man who kidnapped me from my wedding. This is the kind of story I read about, not something that actually happens. I throw myself back on the bed and scream in frustration.
What must my parents be thinking? I need to speak with them, to help them understand that I didn’t plan this. They must be so angry with me, but I didn’t do anything wrong, not really. Sure, I kissed a stranger on my wedding day, but I didn’t expect that stranger to call off my wedding and take me home with him.
My parents must be angry, but surely they can see it from my perspective. I miss them, although I am angry with them. I want nothing more than to hear my mother’s voice, even if she’s yelling at me for kissing a strange, dangerous man.
I look over at the frothy white wedding dress that loves to mock me. I hated it from the moment I saw it in the store, but Mama told me it was exactly the kind of dress she always pictured me wearing. How could I say no to that? Besides the fact that she and Papa were paying for the wedding. None of the decisions were mine to make.
Still, I ache to speak to her. I pick up my phone and pull up her number. I press “Send,” and wait, but the line doesn’t even ring. She sends me straight to voicemail. Of course, she does. She must be so livid with me.
As much as I don’t want to speak to Papa, I know he’ll at least answer his phone, if for no other reason than curiosity. He’ll want to hear what I have to say. I dial his number and wait with bated breath.
He picks up immediately. “My phone says my daughter is calling me, but I don’t have a daughter anymore,” he says coldly. “She’s dead to me and I’m grieving her loss.”
He hangs up then, not giving me a chance to speak. I throw my phone on the floor and immediately feel tears spring to my eyes. I’ve been keeping them at bay for the last two days, but it’s a fruitless effort now. My family hates me. They despise me for something I have no control over.
Which is ironic, since getting married was out of my control as well. I see now that my family doesn’t care about my free will. They don’t want me to be happy. They want me to conform to their wishes and be a good girl who always says yes.
I was willing to do that, even when it meant giving up my freedom for the rest of my life. Well, now I’ve given up my freedom, but not to their choice of groom. I’ve done something out of their plan for me, and they can’t stand it.
My heart breaks in two at my father’s words, and I cry into my pillow for a long time, letting the pain envelop me. If I’m dead to him, then maybe he should be dead to me too. Maybe I have no parents, and I belong solely to a man who can’t have the decency to provide me more clothes than what I came in.
