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This is a hopeless situation.
Said man knocks on my door a few minutes later, and I rush to wipe my face. I don’t want him to see me crying. I don’t want to appear weak in front of him. I stand up to grab my robe and pull it tightly over myself, though I don’t know what the point is. He probably prefers seeing me naked in bed, anyway.
Ivan comes in when I tell him he can, and he assesses me. I can tell by the look on his face that he knows I’ve been crying. He looks repentant.
“You aren’t a prisoner here, Kat,” he tells me. “You can come and go as you please. I trust you.”
“And where exactly do you expect me to go in my wedding lingerie?” I ask him sarcastically. “I don’t even have shoes!”
He chuckles and comes to sit on the corner of the bed. My mind tells me to move away from him, but my body shifts closer without my permission.
“I’m working on it,” he says, which surprises me.
What does he mean he’s working on it? Is he going to have my things brought over? I’m sure my family and Niko will have a lot to say about that. Niko and my brother have probably already destroyed all of my things out of spite. I wouldn’t put it past them.
“Tell me, Kat,” he says sweetly. “Once you have your things and you can go out as you please, what would you like to do?”
I look at him in surprise. My parents never cared about what I wanted. They scheduled my life down to the minute, my only freedom coming when I finally went to college and had space from them. Even then, I had a bodyguard watching me twenty-four seven. Freedom was a small illusion.
“I would go back to the Met,” I hear myself saying. It’s like I can’t keep the words inside of me any longer. “I went once for a class, and I loved being there. I want to go back and spend more time there. I want to explore the architecture more, and take more time to see the exhibits.”
He smiles at me, a light in his eyes. “Could I take you?” he asks, and it warms me inside.
No one’s cared about my interests before. No one has wanted to share them with me. I assess him, wondering what his game is, but by the look on his face, he genuinely wants to spend time with me. It’s incredibly sweet.
I nod and find that my body is leaning into his. He’s so close to me, his face only inches away from mine.
He closes the gap between us, and his lips sweetly meet mine. There’s no urgency in this kiss, no sense of desperation the way our other kisses had. He pulls my bottom lip between his teeth and sucks gently, causing me to moan against him.
I don’t understand the effect he has on me. I feel like I’ve gone from zero to sixty in a short amount of time, and I crave his touch more than anything in the world. It scares me but also excites me. I want to know him more and let him know me more.
His tongue slides over my lip, and I open my mouth to let him inside. I want his tongue inside of my mouth, and I want his hands on my body. In fact, right at this moment, I can’t remember why I made him stop the other night. I sit up on my knees, pressing my body closer to his. I can’t get enough of his warmth.
His hands move to my behind, and he squeezes tightly, pulling me closer so my legs are on either side of his waist. In this position, I’m slightly taller than him, and I have all the power to deepen our kiss. He lets me, opening his mouth for me and letting me explore. I grind my body against him and he hisses, excited by my touch.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he groans, pulling away ever so slightly.
I don’t want him to pull away. My fingers slide through his hair, and I grab on, not letting him put any distance between us. His hands roam my body slowly, making a line from my shoulders down to my ass. He touches and gropes, and it’s all I can do not to gasp against him.
There’s little clothing between us, not like our first kiss. I’m simply in my lingerie and my robe, and I’m sure he can feel the heat spreading between my legs. I grind against him again, and he groans, but he places his hands firmly on my waist and pushes me away.
I immediately feel rejected, and I move away from him, backing up against my pillows.
“I told you we’d wait,” he breathes out, speaking down to the ground. “I intend to keep that promise, Kat. I want it to be special for you. I don’t want you to feel that you’re obligated to do this.”
Despite his words, I feel hollow on the inside. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, and it terrifies me. It scares me even more to think he might not feel the same way. I might be a pawn to him, like I was to my father.
“I’ll send you up some clothes,” he says breathily, then stands up and walks out.
I wrap my arms around my knees and try to hold back the tears that are starting anew. His rejection stings more than I would like to admit. I allow myself exactly five minutes to be upset about it before curling into a ball and falling asleep.
CHAPTERELEVEN
Ivan
She’s trying to kill me, I’m sure of it. My whole body is lit on fire by her, and it was just a kiss. I can’t imagine how it will feel when I have her completely naked, writhing under me, but I have to wait. I promised her I would wait. It’s like she’s trying to seduce me into breaking that promise, but I have to be strong. For her, I’ll be strong.
I tear out of her room, needing to put some distance between us. I don’t know if going to another floor is going to help. I could go to another country and still feel her pull. I can already feel the precome dripping from my tip. Knowing she’s in that room, nearly naked under her robe, will undo me, but I have to focus.
