AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m done discussing this.” I reach for the doorknob, but he stops me. Putting his hand on my hand, and I jump back, reacting quicker than I can register.
“What the fuck, are you really afraid of me, Lainey?” He smirks, towering over me like it is some kind of new kink he’s figured out. Only to him, it probably is. Some sick thing that turns him on knowing I am afraid of him. I hate to think what he might do next. Thankfully my phone starts ringing, and I answer it before he has a chance to tell me not to.
“Hi, Jen! Can’t really talk right now because Steve is here,” I say loudly into the phone. Knowing Jen will take that as an SOS call to come over right away.
“I’ll be right over,” she says before Steve grabs the phone from me and hangs up.
“You shouldn’t have done that. Can’t we have a conversation without your bitch best friend getting in the middle of everything?”
“She’s not a bitch and she’s on her way over with the cops, so I’d get moving along if I were you,” I say fiercely.
He scoffs. “Whatever, Lainey.” Rolling his eyes, he takes off in his black mustang and heads down the road. Almost seconds later, Jen pulls up with Ben, her boyfriend and one of the six cops in town.
“Everything alright?” Ben asks as Jen jumps out of the car to give me a hug. She checks over me for marks and then lets me go.
“He was here to try and get back together, but at this point it’s harassment,” I explain.
“Is there anything you can do?” Jen asks Ben.
“Unfortunately not, he’s not breaking any laws since we don’t have any proof he put his hands on you. Unless you’d like to file a restraining order, there isn’t much we can do. I’m sorry, Lainey,” Ben says with a frown.
“It’s okay, thank you.”
“I better head back to the station before I’m missed, but please call me if there’s a next time.” Ben hands me his card even though I have his cell phone number. We’ve all been friends since high school, but I get it, he is being thorough with his job.
“I’m going to stay here tonight, you can take my car back,” Jen says, giving Ben a quick kiss goodbye.
I open the front door and let out a deep breath. Jen watches me carefully, I think she thinks I’m going to break or something. The truth is, I’m surprised I haven’t yet. But I think it’s because I might still be in shock. It’s not something a person can just be okay with, not when someone you loved put their hands on you. I think it’s okay to still be in some form of shock.
“We’re going to have a movie night and forget about that bastard.” Jen starts ruffling through the drawers in the kitchen for something.
My back is against the front door, and I feel frozen in place. At least I knew better than to let Steve in the house, but what if I had? What if Jen hadn’t called me back when she did? I am so tired of thinking of all these horrible what ifs when it comes to him. I thought once you broke up with someone it was supposed to be the end of them in its entirety. Not to keep running into them and finding them on your doorstep or outside your job.
“Lainey? Did you hear what I said?” Jen’s voice snaps me back into reality.
“No,” I admit.
“Okay, I asked what kind of takeout you want.”
“Oh, I’m not hungry.”
“I figured that, but you need to eat anyway. I’m ordering pizza. Our normal.” I nod, knowing she knows what I like, and there is no point arguing with Jen. She is going to do what was best for me even when I can’t put one foot in front of the other.
“I think I want to take a shower, is that okay?” I look at Jen and she nods.
“Of course, I’ll make myself at home.” She calls for the pizza, putting her feet up on my coffee table and flicking the tv on.
I head to the bathroom and close the door behind me, locking it for good measure. I know Steve isn’t anywhere near here, but I just need to wash off the remnants of him. I strip down to nothing and hop in the shower, turning the water up to scalding. It’s a little too hot to handle and my skin is turning red, but I want to erase the fact that I ever let him touch me. I want to get rid of the way he’s touched me in every realm. So I keep the boiling water on my skin until it runs cold. Then I cry. This loud, primal, cry that doesn’t even sound like me. It doesn’t feel like me, but I let it out because it feels better than holding it in. I don’t want to hold on to these feelings anymore. I don’t want to live in this skin, knowing he’s touched it. So I cry until the tears run dry, and then I wash my body and get out of the shower. Wrapping a warm towel around my body, I look in the foggy mirror at my reflection.
I know I can never make it so he hasn’t touched me. My skin will always be touched by him. But I can move forward and not let him touch me again. I head to my room and put on my comfiest clothes, then head into the living room where Jen is digging into the pizza without me.
“I couldn’t wait, I was starving.” She chuckles.
“It’s okay.” I smile and grab a plate. Maybe I am hungry after all, it does look delicious.
I pick up a piece of pizza and plop down on the couch next to Jen. We’re watching reruns ofFriends,and I don’t care enough to pay attention to them. Jen looks at me like she wants to ask if I’m okay, but she knows better. I’m not, and that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay after what I’ve gone through.
“I know you’re not okay, but you can talk to me about it if you need to.” She smiles.
