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“One day while they were in there doing god knows what, I was bored and lonely. I hunted for something to do, and found a box of my mom’s old stuff, including a doll from when she was young. I was entertaining myself, playing some stupid game to try and distract my mind when my dad came out and caught me.”
I wanted to jump in; to apologize, to console him, to hold him, but I remained quiet, afraid that he would go silent if I interrupted. He needed to get everything out.
Dalton continued, his voice getting louder with every word, “He told me what a disappointment I was, and how ashamed he was of me; that I never should have been born in the first place, but since I was, he was going to set me straight and teach me a lesson.
“That lesson included him beating the living hell out of me. I was bruised and bloodied so badly that I couldn’t walk for days, but my mom refused to take me to the hospital because she didn’t want my dad to get in trouble. She found out she was pregnant with my brother just a few weeks later.”
Tears clouded his eyes and his face and voice tightened. “I promised myself that I’d never let my brother go through what I did. No one else was gonna look out for him. When I saw him with the doll, I’ll admit, I flipped the fuck out. I remembered how I felt from my father’s hand and I worried that if my own dad could hurt me that way, how would the world treat Andrew? I tried to protect him, but I’m too stupid! I messed everything up and I just…”
Dalton let out a loud, pained growl as he yanked a pen holder off of my desk and threw it at the wall, cracking the plastic and sending pens scattering to the floor.
I leapt from my chair and rounded my desk. Dalton’s eyes widened with fear and his chest heaved with frantic breaths. When I was toe to toe with him, I raised my hands and he flinched as if I were going to hit him.
I would never dream of it. Instead, I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. His body tightened at first, presumably in shock, but after a few moments, he melted against me.
Dalton didn’t hug me back, and I didn’t expect him to. I simply held him, flooding him with support and care. No one (besides perhaps Andy) had shown him those things his whole life, but I was there to change all of that.
“You’re not stupid,” I whispered in his ear. He was full of anger and pain, and had let those emotions get the best of him in the worst possible way. Tage was right; he’d had no guidance or role models. All Dalton knew was violence, even when it came to protection.
I whispered again, “Today starts your new beginning, and I’ll be here with you every step of the way. Your past can shape you, but it doesn’t define you. I know you have a good heart, Dalton. I’m going to help you believe that, too. You can trust me. I’ll guide you and help you, but never hurt you. You have my word.”
After another minute of feeling his body against mine, his heart thumping quickly against my chest, Dalton stepped back, his gaze still glassy, but now filled with confusion.
He’d probably never felt compassion, or been shown understanding or care. He didn’t know how to react. He’d caught hell for touching a doll, so this embrace from another man was surely sitting strangely with him, especially given how he was feeling about it.
Because Dalton was my mate, and even as a human, he would feel the connection between the two of us. Even if he didn’t understand it, his heart and soul would call out for mine. He’d want to be near me, to be close to me, to touch me; and I could only guess how confused he felt by it all.
As much as I didn’t want to let him go, I didn’t want to overwhelm his mind, so I told him gently, “Go home and rest.” I knew it was a long distance to walk, and I would offer to drive him, but I was afraid it would make him uncomfortable, so I took out some money from my wallet and offered, “Take a cab. Clear your mind and get a ride back here tomorrow for your appointment.” I was kind, but clear, leaving no room to dispute my wish.
Dalton took the money, staring at it for a moment before placing it in his pocket. He didn’t argue or offer thanks, which I didn’t need. I only wanted to look after him and provide for his needs; to know he had what he needed.
