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“I guess?” Ash frowns at me. “Does that bother you?”
“No,” I say quickly, which only makes her shake her head. “It’s not like that. He and I are just—I don’t know, I guess it’s a business arrangement.”
“Sounds like it’s more than business for him.”
“He can say whatever he wants.” It comes out harsher than I intended. Ash looks surprised by my tone, and I force myself to soften. “He keeps saying he wants to convince me to stay with him, and I keep telling him that isn’t going to happen.”
“What if it does?” she asks. “Would that be so bad?”
I close my eyes. I think of my baby growing up in the Crowley family. What would become of my child if I let them learn how to be a person from violent criminals? Even if Nolan isn’t violent to me, and even if he keeps his work life separate from our home life, some of the Crowley corruption’s going to infect my baby. Slowly, but surely, it’ll happen.
“Yes,” I say quietly. “It would be.”
Ash studies me for a long moment then shrugs. “At least you know.” She stands up suddenly. “Just make sure he understands.”
“I’ve been trying.” I feel despair weighing me down. “He doesn’t listen.”
“Sounds like you really did marry a Crowley.” She grins at me. “Come on, Keels, you’ll be okay. I’ll help you, I promise. As much as I can, anyway.”
“Really? Even after I turned down your offer?”
She waves that away. “I don’t care about money, you know that. I only offered because you’re my friend. I don’t even like donuts.”
“Liar. I’ve seen you wolf down like a dozen in a single sitting.”
“Okay, fine, I freakinglovedonuts, which is why I shouldn’t be anywhere near this place when it’s up and running. I’ll gorge myself.”
“Feel free. Doors are always open.”
She sighs, a hand on her forehead. “I’m going to turn into dough. I’ll roll around in the back until you fry me.”
“I bet you’d make a delicious donut.”
“Damn right.” She grins and holds out a hand, helping me up. We hug again, briefly this time, and without any crying. “Seriously, Keels. He’s treating you okay, right?”
“He’s treating me great,” I admit, even though it doesn’t feel good. “Anything I want. Honestly, he’s spoiling me, and he doesn’t even demand much in return.”
“Much?” Her eyebrows raise.
My cheeks turn pink. “He wants to sleep in the same bed. You know, like husband and wife.”
She cackles, delighted by that. “Oh, I know, trust me. That’s another Crowley family move, apparently.” She laughs again, shaking her head. “You’re in for one hell of a five months, you know that?”
“I’m aware,” I say, feeling miserable.
“Do you like him though?” She puts a hand on my arm. “I mean, at least a little bit? You don’t have to want to stay with him, but it would be nice if you enjoyed yourself for a few months.”
“I do and I don’t. Which basically explains why I’m such a mess.”
“You’ll figure it out.” She squeezes my arm and lets me go. “Anyway, I should get back to Smoke before they burn it down. Nowthatwould be annoying. But hey, I’m rich now, so it wouldn’t be the end of the world.”
“It might even be a nice excuse to renovate.”
“Solid point.” She strokes her chin. “Maybe I can prompt Fulco to knock over a candle or something.”
“He’d never get down with arson.”
“True. Bernie then. She’d light it up just for fun.”
