Page 83 of It Should Have Been You

As if reading my mind, he quickly gets to his feet, ready to challenge me.

“Here goes nothing,” I mutter, wiping my hands on my shorts. I square up to him, holding my gaze.

“May the best woman win.” He winks.

The game resumes.

Hannah runs in to take over with only little help from me.

By the time the sun begins to lower in the sky, painting everything in a wash of golden light, I’m spent. Breathing heavily, I flop down on the grass beside Logan.

“You okay there, champ?” he teases, nudging me with his shoulder.

“Never been better,” I reply between breaths. “You?”

“I’ll survive. You’ve got quite a kick. Should have taken up soccer.”

I chuckle. “Maybe in another life.”

“Logan!” Hannah calls. I’m grateful it’s not my name. “Time for penalties.”

I wink at him, too exhausted to move. “Gotta save the legs for the next match.”

“Sure,” he says, getting to his feet while his eyes drop to below my waistline. “Gotta save those legs.”

Eighteen

Logan

Today is one of those days where I wish I could shut my eyes and erase everything. I tried to make it go faster, but no matter how hard I worked, even doing the admin I’ve been putting off for weeks, the day still ended with having to check in on my brother just to see if he’s holding it together for his daughter’s birthday. Her second one away from us. The gaping hole she left in my chest is only getting bigger. I miss hearing her laugh around here. I miss her smiley face. I miss picking her up and spinning her around until she almost vomited.

Fuck, I just miss her.

I’m barely standing today. I can only imagine that Archer and Molly are finding it difficult to breathe.

Archer kept himself busy at the bar, standing tall and putting on a brave face when he didn’t need to. He’s my baby brother and he’s hurting, and it’s fucking killing me. I expected him to spend the day with Molly, but she was planting new flowers at Evie’s grave.

My hand tightens around my beer bottle.

What kind of a fucked-up world do we live in when a young mother isn’t spending her daughter’s birthday throwing a princess themed party and reliving the day she gave birth? Instead, she’s only left with memories and goddamn pansies.

I’ve noticed the distance in Molly and Archer. Those kids have taken on the world together, and the cracks are starting to show. But who can blame them when these are the cards they’ve been dealt? There will always be something missing.

Evie is part of every breath they take. How can the air in their lungs ever be pure without her?

I know my world definitely feels a couple shades darker without her in it.

God, I miss that kid.

I gulp the last of the beer from the bottle and lean back in the chair, moving my neck back and forth to ease the tension. The sun is setting over the water—Evie’s favorite part of the day. She always insisted we sit on the deck when she stayed just to watch the sun set.

“Happy birthday, baby girl. I miss you every day.”

I swallow the painful lump in my throat before shooting a text to my brother and Molly. They might be going through a difficult time right now, but I still love Molly like a sister. I’ve known that kid most of her life.

They’ll get through whatever it is. They have to.

The breeze picks up and a very familiar sweet scent wafts over me.

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