Page 84 of It Should Have Been You

“Want some company?”

I peer over at Beth standing with her arms crossed, shielding herself from the evening chill. She tucks a wild strand of blonde hair behind her ear and smiles.

Still fucking breath-taking.

“Sure. Want a beer?”

“Thanks,” she agrees, taking a seat in the deck chair next to mine.

She wasn’t home with the girls when I arrived from work. They’ve only been here two weeks, and I’ve already grown accustomed to the sounds of playing on the land.

I shouldn’t. It’s dangerous.

But here I am anyway.

I glance back at the house, and all is still quiet. “Where are the girls?”

“They’re staying with my sister for the weekend.”

A ball of jealousy burns in my gut remembering when Evie used to stay with me. “Being an aunt or uncle sure has its privileges.”

She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “We lost touch for a while. She’s been back in my life for about two years, and she’s amazing with the girls. They love her.”

There’s a flicker of emotion washing over her features before it’s gone.

I don’t say anything, but I feel myself leaning forward, hoping she’ll continue. I have some sick want to claw under the flesh of this woman and see what’s underneath. Or maybe I’m just desperate for the distraction today.

Her fingers nervously tap against the beer bottle, and I can almost see how she curls in on herself. Anything to make herself smaller. I don’t want to tell her there’s no point. She’s too beautiful and oozes something that just makes me want to get closer. Beth’s attempt to blend in only makes her stand out.

Something tells me she would hate hearing that.

When she starts speaking again, I immediately find my eyes drawn to her like I can pull out her words. “We were close growing up, but…” She stalls, shaking her head. “Life, I guess.”

By that, I’m certain she means her husband.

She gets lost for a long second before she changes the subject. “What are you doing out here?”

My chest deflates, the same hole screaming at me. “It’s Evie’s birthday, and she loved to watch the sun set.”

“Logan,” she breathes, brown eyes wide. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize.” She places the bottle on the grass. “I should go. I didn’t mean to impose.”

“Stay.” I reach out my hand and place it on her arm. Touching her still makes a zing of electricity tingle over my fingertips like it did all those years ago.

I think she can see in my eyes the fragile thread I’m clinging to, the only thing keeping me together today.

She nods. “You must miss her.”

“Every minute,” I agree, the knot in my chest threatening to kill me. “I know you’re starting at the café, but there’s a law firm in town. You ever thought about going back to work in law?”

Her beer stalls mid-way to her full lips, and I regret asking because watching her drink is oddly satisfying. “I never started.”

“Isn’t that why you left?”

She looks away, taking a long breath. “I quit when I got pregnant with Hannah. I stayed home. I was needed as a mother, and I loved every second.” That part she says with a warm smile. It’s the next statement that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. “We got married shortly after I found out I was pregnant, and Rob needed to stay in London. I wasn’t just needed as a mother anymore. I was needed as a wife.”

She doesn’t say it, but I read between the lines. She wasn’t allowed back to college.

“But come on.” She laughs, and her change of tone knocks me back. “I would have made a shitty lawyer. I can’t even win an argument with my toddler.” She’s trying to keep it light, but I see the hollowness in her eyes as she dodges the memories invading while she sits here with me.

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