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The summer sun glistens on the cerulean sea soothingly, washing away remnants of my agonizing encounter with Zak. The scenic route to the beach is scattered with immaculately preserved cottages, vibrant flowers in bloom, and sapphire waters that sparkle divinely under the sun. The serenity of it all almost lulls my internal storm to sleep. Navigating through the picturesque streets, the smell of salty sea air mixed with sunscreen makes me nostalgic, pulling out memories of better times.
As we arrive at the sprawling golden expanse of the beach, the boys run quickly toward the water. Mel and I are left setting up our fortress for the day. As we piece together the coolers, sunblock, umbrellas, towels, and beach chairs under the sunshade, Mel grabs my arm and says, “You’ve got to take good care of yourself, kiddo. This stuff is essential,” she indicates the sunscreen. She must have seen the red blush swimming up my cheeks, so she quickly adds, "I’m not trying to be your mom or anything.”
I laugh softly. “It's okay. I never thought you were.”
"Good," she replies, "because I'm not." With a nod, she turns her attention back to the ocean.
As she nods, I hesitate, wanting to share something. I’m not sure then why I decide to open up; maybe it's realizing the importance of family after accepting this morning that I am about to have my own.
"Look, Mel, I'm sorry I was frosty with you at first. I guess…It's hard for me to see Dad with someone else." She searches my face, looking so beautiful in her effortless beach attire. She hasn't glammed herself up like she usually does, and it works on her. She looks really great.
“I never met my Mom,” I explain. “I mean, not that I remember; I was only one." Mel's hand timidly rests atop mine, a gesture so tiny and yet so powerful. I feel my eyes prick at the gesture. I take a shaky deep breath and continue. For us to have any kind of relationship, we need this. Taking a deep breath, I continue bravely. "I think you're great, and I honestly think Dad is the happiest I've ever seen him." A genuine smile softens my features. “So I guess, if we’re going to have a relationship, we need to start somewhere.”
Underneath the umbrella, Mel finds words that had long been silenced. She confesses how she had always admired my strength and wanted to be a part of my life. Her tone is honest and tinged with sadness. I realize that I’ve been harsh on her. I didn't think she'd noticed my coldness, but it is undeniable now that she had, and she'd just tried to work past it. She was trying to have the family she never had, just like me. Mel cares, and that is undeniable. With each shared view, each laugh cushioned in silence, and each empathetic glance, the walls I had built around me, brick by brick, begin to crumble.
Hours pass; the boys are solely silhouettes against the setting sun. Mel and I are sharing stories, laughing loudly - our sound echoing against the crash of the waves. I notice sand decorating my bare belly, reflecting off the fading oranges and purples of the sunset sky.
Stretched between the imminent dusk and the quickly fading day’s light, I suddenly become aware of my phone buzzing insistently, tugging me abruptly from the beautiful illusion of serenity. Hastily fumbling inside the beach bag, I pick up my phone just to see if there are any messages. Not that I was looking for a message from anyone in particular. Not at all. But to my surprise, I snag on a message, casting a cloud of dread over the scenic canvas.
"If your little boyfriend doesn't show up, there will be trouble."
It bluntly threatens. My heart is pounding in fright at the angry tone of the message, but I quickly dismiss it as spam, as if burying it would keep the threatening darkness at bay.
These sorts of spam messages are common, right? I don’t think too much of it and continue my day as normal.
Zak
I slide nervously across the living room, taking a seat on the beautifully worn leather couch as my mind races. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths to steady my nerves. It's only an hour until I'm scheduled to meet this cowardly blackmailer. I would usually never bow down to someone like this, but the fact that Izzie’s reputation is on the line as well as mine, is making me hesitate more on how to act.
I groan out loud, letting out all my frustrations. I feel helpless against their demands - I can't help but worry about what will happen if I don't comply. My lovely Izzie’s reputation hangs in the balance - something I couldn't stomach if it goes up in smoke. We know all too well that women are often judged too harshly and too quickly when it comes to these situations. Do I take the chance and risk it all for my own self-respect, or bow down and save my own skin? I'm still debating in my mind what to do.
I call JJ for an update. It had been 16 hours since I told him about the blackmail. I am seriously considering that now there would be no option but to comply.
He answers promptly, in his usual style.
“Zak,”
"JJ," I breathe out a sigh of relief; hearing someone else's voice who knows about the situation is reassuring. It makes me feel less alone in this.
“So? Any updates?” I prompt impatiently.
“Yes, I’ve narrowed the IP down to a small 1 km radius, and I have a couple of names from your list who I think it could be. But, nothing concrete yet. They've managed to conceal themselves pretty well." JJ sounds frustrated for the first time since I've known him.
I curse down the phone at him and mostly at the situation.
“So what do you think I should do? Should I go with the money? I think that I might have to; I really can't risk this getting out.”
"No!" JJ almost shouts down the phone. "You should never give in to these individuals. Zak, have you not paid attention to anything that I have instructed you to learn? These people are jerks, and this will not be the end of our problems with them. If you give in to their demands even once, they will continue to threaten you with them. You do realize that there are still a few hours left before the appointment, right? Please allow me a little bit more time.” The man begs, "I believe I'm getting there."
I heave a sigh. "Alright, you have two hours, but after that, my decision will be final," I say. “I'll be the one handing over the money to them."
I terminate the call without saying goodbye. I am aware that I have no reason to feel angry toward JJ. Nothing that happened was his fault. But at this point in time, he is the only person to whom I could vent my anger and frustration.
I make the decision to prepare a sandwich for myself. I take a look inside all of my cabinets, sneering at the variety that was available. Because I am too lazy to cook, I primarily eat out or order meal plans that are already prepared. I have a housekeeper come in three times a week to clean, and she brings me some necessities, but I hardly ever use them. I discover where the bread and cheese are hidden. It's going to be grilled cheese. While I’m in the kitchen, I allow myself to become momentarily detached from the outside world. The beep of my phone startles me and brings me back to reality.
I hope it’s JJ saying, "Done." Like that first time. I hope this whole mess is over.
My hand freezes mid-air, hovering for a split second over my phone before quickly swiping the screen and pressing 'play' on an ominously titled email. “Changed my mind” was all the subject says.
