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We finished the fitting, and the assistant helped me out of the dress. I put on a silk robe and stood, waiting for Sicily to run around the store, her laughter echoing through the place as she rolled a clothing rack back out with several dresses. I shook my head. "This is going to be insane. No pictures."
I went into the dressing room and waited for the first dress. Finally, the assistant got me into it, and I squeezed myself out and up in front of the mirror. Sicily immediately burst into laughter. The skirt was huge, making it hard to move or fit through doorways. It was super shiny silk, and the top came up into a keyhole neckline with enormous puffy shoulders. The sleeves were lace, and each side hooked around my middle finger.
On the back, there was a huge bow. I shook my butt back and forth. "Poor Cinderella. How do women pee in these dresses? If I take it off, I feel it'll sit up on its own. Like there should be a zipper from top to bottom, and you just walk into it."
"Next," Sicily yelled, drinking champagne as she sat behind me.
The next one was very 80's. It was not long and came down mid-calf. Instead of the bow being in the back, it was cocked to the side of my waist. "Does this dress also come with a lifetime supply of aerosol hairspray? Can I have neon lights at the reception?"
Sicily giggled, waving her hand for the next one. She was really enjoying herself. But it was fun, especially when the owner cranked up the music and poured more and more champagne. I went through eight more dresses, all ridiculous, the last one not white but instead red with a layer of black lace overtop.
"I'm exhausted," I said, slumping from the weight of the dress.
"No, no," Sicily said, jumping up and grabbing the last dress from the rack. "One more. Promise that's it."
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. This one was tighter and a little difficult to get into. I didn't expect anything as funny as the others since it looked relatively up-to-date fashion-wise. I stepped out onto the pedestal, and my mouth dropped open. Sicily sat forward and covered hers. The assistant nodded. "That is your dress. That dress was made for you."
The shop owner came over and fluffed up my hair, setting a small, simple veil into my hair. I stared at myself in the mirror, tears pulling at the corner of my eyes. It truly was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. It was exactly right for me. A flash of Ryder and I standing at the alter, with me wearing that dress, popped into my mind.
"That is the kind of dress you marry your Prince Charming in," the shop owner said.
I shook the thought of Ryder from my mind. She was right. That was the kind of dress I would wear, standing there with the man I was going to spend my life with. But my upcoming wedding was not that. I was not marrying the love of my life. I was marrying for a business contract. A contract that would marry me to the company.
One thing that Sicily was right about was that I would be hard at work once I got promoted. And the entire wedding thing with Ryder would be gone before I knew it. We would be divorced, he would be back in his condo, and I would be moving on with the rest of my life. I didn't think I would be able to find a more perfect dress for me. But I couldn't wear it to my fake wedding. I couldn't stand there in front of a man who didn't want to marry me and vice versa. There had to be something sacred saved if I ever met a man who wanted me to be his wife, not for money or business, but for real.
No matter how fun the whole wedding process was, I had to remind myself it wasn't real. I stepped off the pedestal and changed out of the dress. When I came out, Sicily looked at me carefully. "You okay?"
I nodded, forcing a smile. "Of course. It's a beautiful dress. It's THE dress."
"Why don't you get it for your big day?"
"Because my big day isn't for me," I said to her, looking at my glass of champagne. "Because this first time around, it's fake. I'm okay with that. I just don't want to make it any more real than it has to feel. There are a ton of dresses out there that will be sufficient for that day. So I'll save it."
Sicily kissed me on the cheek and walked over to finish things with the owner. I looked out the window at the passing cars, thinking about Ryder. Maybe in another life, he would have been the groom. Perhaps he would have been suitable for me, despite his stubbornness and his dirty boots. But that was not this life. We had made an agreement, and I had to push any of the romantic ideas out of my head. They were only going to make things harder. I was trying to fool everyone else, and I was beginning to have a hard time deciding what was real and what wasn't.
I took a deep breath and walked outside, letting the fun and emotion from minutes before wash away. Why was I having such a hard time embracing my choice? Why was Ryder engulfing me in every thought that I had? All I could do was ride it out. In the end, if I had hurt feelings, that would be on me. No one else would protect me from myself.
Chapter Thirteen
Amber
2 Weeks Later
Saturday mornings were my favorite. I would allow my body to sleep in as long as it needed, wake up, work out, eat a small breakfast, ignore business, and relax. Sometimes I went out for drinks, sometimes shopping, but whatever it was, it was on my terms. Which was why when I felt the gentle rapping of Ryder's finger across my cheek, waking me up, I almost didn't want to open my eyes. Why would he wake me up? It had been weeks of him living there. Besides, the moments we found ourselves accidentally in bed together the following day, he knew I was nonexistent on Saturdays.
With my eyes still closed, I sighed. "You are awakening me from my sacred Saturday sleep cycle."
"Yes," he whispered. "But I offer chocolate croissants, bacon, and coffee to make up for it."
I opened one eye and stared at him, standing next to the bed, holding a tray. Then, slowly, I sat up, pulling the covers to my waist. I looked at the clock, finding it was just eight in the morning. I tilted my head. "You had my attention at chocolate."
He smiled and sat the tray in front of me. It even had a tiny little vase with the bud of a red rose in it. "Good."
I reached for the croissant and stopped. "Wait. Does this come with some form of attachment or agreement?"
He chuckled and sat down next to me, smiling more in those five minutes than I had seen him smile since we visited his family. It was suspicious. "I have a surprise for you today. I'm sorry I couldn't plan it for tomorrow. I'm taking you out. So, eat up, shower, I put some new body wash in your bathroom, and I hung up a new set of clothes on the back of the door. I had a stylist pick them out based on what you wear on other occasions."
I lifted a brow. "I'm not going to question you, but I have my eye on you."
