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I cared about Amber so much, and I could very well lose the one woman I never thought I would love.
Chapter Fifteen
Amber
"What are you still doing at home, future CEO?" Sicily said, answering her phone.
I chuckled. "I decided to take an at-home work day. There have been a million media inquiries and so much going on. My father said it was fine because there weren't any meetings today."
"Is Ryder home too?"
I took a sip of my coffee. "No. Ryder left for work about twenty minutes ago. He struggles to work from home because of the department he's in. That and I seriously think if he didn't have a secretary to plan out his days, he would be lost. He's so smart and very good at what he does, but he's not business or office-oriented. No one else notices, though. He's good at fooling people."
"Uh, yeah," Sicily said, laughing. "I saw that proposal. Holy crap. The thing was amazing. The lanterns, the roses, the candles. And you guys literally pulled it off with those photos."
I smiled, looking down at my ring. "Yeah. He really did an amazing job. I was definitely surprised. And he made the whole thing look like just a day out together…until the night time."
"Has anyone from work said anything?"
"Well, my father did, but apparently, he helped a little, so he already knew. And some of the board members already sent flowers to my home congratulating us on the engagement. So I definitely think everyone believed it."
"And what about you?"
"What about me?"
Sicily paused like she was thinking before continuing. "Yes. What about you? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I said, lying.
The truth was the proposal was more perfect than anything I could have dreamed of. Not to mention that the whole day seemed so right. Everything seemed so right. It felt like he didn't just plan the perfect proposal, but the perfect proposal for me. We talked about his childhood, we laughed, and there were several moments I wished he would just pull me into his arms and kiss me. It was a fairytale the whole day, and I would be lying to say I didn't get caught up in it.
"You're fine, or you're holding it together?"
She knew me too well. "I mean. It was impossible not to get caught up in the day and the moment, but I told myself quickly afterward that it was all for the agreement. Besides, can you imagine Ryder and me together in real life? We'd probably kill each other."
"Actually," she said. "I think you know by now Ryder's not as tough as his exterior portrays him as. But I get it. This is your business deal and I won't press. I just want to make sure you're okay every step of the way. Because seriously, I can't imagine a woman in the world that wouldn't be swept off her feet by that."
I chuckled. "My feet are firmly planted on the ground. Promise."
Sicily sighed. "Okay. I gotta run. I have a meeting to attend. Call me later, okay?"
"Yep. Love you."
"Love you too."
I hung up the phone and tried to go back to work, but the flowers on my desk and the wedding magazine I had picked up on Sunday were staring back at me. The cover of the wedding magazine said, "How can you say no to the perfect dress?"
Immediately my mind went to the dress I’d tried on in the bridal boutique. I pulled up the temporary schedule that had been sent to me after getting engaged. It outlined the process for taking over my father's job after the retirement party. First, he would announce it at the party. Next, Ryder and I would do a traditional first dance in celebration. Then after that were days of contracts, weeks of meetings, interviews for a VP, investor meetings, board meetings, and on and on.
The truth was that my life would be the company starting the day after my father's retirement. After that, my life would be nothing but work, only quiet when I went to sleep. And it would be that way for years. My dreams of meeting my happily ever after were replaced by budgets and media appearances. But that was the life that I had always wanted. That was part of why I was going through the whole charade with Ryder in the first place.
The reality was harsh sometimes, and I knew I would have to give up one thing for the other. Ryder might be the only man I marry until I'm middle-aged. That wedding might be the only one I have had for many years. It was probably my only chance to have the perfect dress, cake, and all the things I dreamed of as a young girl. My groom might only be there as an agreement, but the rest of it was possibly my only chance before I became my father's company.
No matter what feelings I tried to push away, I knew I cared about Ryder. I didn't really know to what extent. It was all so confusing, but I knew enough to be taken back by how he looked at me. To be jelly kneed when he touched me. To want to kiss him and be close to him. And even if our marriage was just for a little while, and just an agreement, maybe the perfect dress wasn't just for me. Perhaps the ideal dress was perfect for both of us.
I tossed the idea around in my head for several moments before grabbing my keys and throwing my phone in my purse. I didn't want to wait for a driver, so I took the Mercedes I barely ever drove and headed to the bridal salon. I parked out front and was glad to see they were open and not in an appointment. The shop owner recognized me immediately.
"Amber, I saw that proposal. Wow."
