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I chuckled. "I don't have much left to risk. I know now that a life without her is pretty damn miserable. So if there's even a chance, I'll put it all on the line."
Amber’s father poured me a glass of whiskey and went to work, laying out the perfect plan. A way to get in front of Amber, to keep her there and have her really listen to me. To let her know just how much I care about her. He was right. I would be risking a lot. I would be out there for the world to see. And if she rejected me, they would see that too. But Amber was worth the risk in my book.
I had never been more nervous about anything in my life. But I shook the man's hand and headed home, knowing full well what I needed to do to get ready. As I passed over the San Diego bridge toward home, I looked at the sunset in the distance. It made me think of sitting on the deck with my mother, realizing that I had to come to that point on my own. It had taken a lot, but I did it. I had to tell myself that the most challenging part was passed, but thinking about standing there, completely vulnerable, made my brain fight my heart big time.
Determination was going to take over, though, because I knew that my heart had to win this time. It had to push back the fear that I had grown to know as closely as my own family. My heart was the only thing that could save my relationship with Amber. Hopefully, her heart would be open to mine because she had already stolen it, and I didn't want her to give it back. Instead, I wanted her to offer hers to me and let me show her what it felt like to truly be loved.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Amber
The car pulled up in front of the banquet hall, and a red carpet rolled out just for my father. I was arriving on my own, not wanting to take any of the spotlight from him. I hadn't spoken to the media, and I knew arriving on my own would cause them to swarm me like piranha. I had nothing to say. My love life wasn't going to be my headline in the future. My strength and tenacity would be what defined me in business. My love life needed to be private, whether it existed or not.
To combat this, I hired one of the bodyguards that had spent all that time at my house, standing idly around, protecting me from a danger that never returned. As we pulled up, camera flashes lit up the night. Charlie, my guard, nodded, his shoulders broad and strong. "Are you ready?"
"Do I have a choice?"
He chuckled. "I'd say no."
I nodded, taking a deep breath as he opened his door and climbed out, standing tall next to the car as I exited. I smiled at the press and waved but didn't answer them as they called out my name. Even when they called out questions about Ryder, I kept my composure, despite the sudden uptick in my heartbeat and the way my stomach seemed hollow and empty. It should have been him next to me, walking arm and arm with me up to my father's retirement gala. The press was good for the business, and I knew that there would be barely any press without the recent events.
We weren't a flashy company, and though my father was a powerful man due to his ability to talk with anyone and make friends in the strangest of places, we weren't well known until recently by the local media. Nonetheless, I supposed I brought the party, so I walked behind my guard all the way up and into the building.
As soon as I passed through the doors, though, I put my hand to my stomach and stepped to the side, catching my breath. Charlie stepped next to me. "Are you alright?"
I nodded. "Besides the clunky boot beneath this dress, I'm okay."
That was a bit of a lie. I didn't know why, but instead of being incredibly excited about the night, one that eventually I would share the spotlight with my father, my heart seemed even more tender.
“Amber” Sicily said, hurrying over with a smile. "You look absolutely beautiful."
I chuckled, lifting up my dress to reveal my boot. I was bored and decided to glue hundreds of small shimmering stones to it. "I took it back old school and bedazzled my boot."
Sicily smirked, lifting up her dress, showing me her sequined Chuck Taylors. "I was not in the mood for heels."
We both laughed, and I wrapped my arms around her. "I'm so glad you're here."
She pulled back, nodding, looking at me with concern. "Are you okay? I thought you would be more excited."
Tears welled in my eyes, and I pulled them back. "I did too…but…."
"Is it Ryder?" she asked.
I looked up at her and decided that lying was stupid. I couldn't lie anymore. So instead, I nodded, turning away from the people coming and going from the main hall. I pulled a tissue from my purse and blotted at my eyes, trying not to ruin my makeup. "I just don't know why this is hitting me right now. I just keep thinking, he should be here with me. I keep asking myself if I made a mistake."
Sicily shook her head. "You did what you needed to do at the time. But I think you should maybe make a phone call when this is all over. Besides, with everything in store for tonight, I promise that by the end of it, you'll feel better."
I shook my head. "I don't think that some promotion is going to take this kind of heartbreak away. I have been holding back for so long. Of course, my brain would decide tonight's the night to completely lose it."
Sicily smiled, taking my hand. "It's not your brain that decided. It's your heart. I know it's dusty and unused, probably tucked away in the recesses of your soul, but it's there, and it's not happy with you."
I snorted, chuckling. "It's not dusty…." Tears came again. "It's broken."
Sicily took my arm and led me over to the side, grabbing my shoulders. "Look at me. You get it together. You have worked too hard to not celebrate your achievements. Do you trust me?"
I sniffled, dabbing feverishly at my tears. "I'm not sure why you're asking that, but of course I do."
Sicily nodded. "Then I need you to believe me, really believe me. By the end of tonight, you will feel better, I promise."
