AllFreeNovel
Share Us
1
elliot
Six Months Ago
“We’re sorry for your loss.”
I nodded my thanks as the man—I couldn’t remember who he or his wife were—shook my hand.
Did Meredith know them? Probably. It seemed like everyone here knew her. That would make sense, wouldn’t it? People who knew her, loved her, coming to her funeral?
I didn’t recognize anyone except Meredith’s mother, Cora, and her little sister, Reagan. Even the people who said they were Meredith’s colleagues didn’t look familiar.
Emma, our three-year-old daughter, was nestled between Meredith’s mother and sister across the pew. Rae had taken Emma from me when we got here, and I was thankful for it. I didn’t want my daughter to see me like this.
Not that I didn’t want her to see me cry. She’d already seen that. Fuck, had she seen it.
I didn’t want her to see me not cry and wonder what the fuck was wrong with her dad.
Who didn’t cry at their wife’s funeral?
Me, apparently.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t squeeze a fucking tear out. Not one.
“We’re sorry for your loss, Elliot.” I looked up, my lips tight as I smiled at the new mourners.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice hoarse.
Were those the only words I’d spoken today?
“She was lovely,” the woman said, dabbing the corner of her eye with a wadded-up tissue. “And the service was beautiful.” I nodded, unable to find any more words for them.
They weren’t here for my or my daughter’s comfort. They were here so they could sleep comfortably tonight, knowing they’d given condolences to a widowed man and newly single father. They didn’t care about me, or my daughter, or my dead wife. They cared about themselves and their conscience.
My gaze followed them as they walked toward Reagan and Cora. Emma now sat in Reagan’s lap, clutching tightly to her shirt like she was afraid of losing her.
The sight made my throat tighten.
“Thank you,” Reagan smiled.
Her dark hair was picked up in a loose, messy bun at the back of her head, strands of it falling around her face. Her hazel eyes were puffy and red, her full lips just as swollen.
Her thin, elegant hand slid into the woman’s as she gently shook it. I envied her. Envied the effortless way she seemed to carry herself, and the effortless way she seemed to talk to people.
Meredith was the same way.
She never knew a stranger. She treated everyone like a friend—everyone but her husband.
I pushed the thought away.
Now wasn’t the time to think about that.
I turned away from Rae, looking back at the casket. The stupid fucking casket that held my dead wife.
Why would she do this?
I told her not to leave that night, but she did it anyway. She never listened to me.
