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The floors were still dark wood and shiny, the walls still white, now with some streaks of color, probably from Emma’s markers. Her toys littered the rug in the living room, her pink blanket spread out along one side of the leather sectional like that was her permanent spot.
Dark beams lined the high ceiling, and a low modern-looking chandelier hung in the middle of the living room. Another smaller one hung right above my head at the entrance. Meredith had loved light and wanted as much of it in her house as she could get. Something we had in common.
Eli brushed past me, my bags in his hands. “I can’t believe this is all you have,” he muttered, giving me an accusatory look over his shoulder. I shrugged and followed him through the living room to the hallway that led to the bedrooms.
“I travel light,” I said.
“Don’t you want more than just a few things, though?” He pushed the guest bedroom door open and stepped inside, using his elbow to flick the overhead light on. I leaned against the doorframe, folding my arms over my chest as he dropped my bags on the bed and turned to face me.
“I’m fine with just that.” I tilted my head toward my stuff, and he glanced down. Maybe it was depressing that my entire life could fit into two duffle bags. “I don’t need much more than that to survive.” I grinned at him, waiting for him to laugh at the stupid joke.
But he didn’t. His face stayed serious. Sad, even.
“And that’s how you want to live?” he asked quietly. My grin slowly fell at the words. “Just surviving?” I swallowed thickly as I stared at him.
“Isn’t that what we’re all doing?” I whispered.
His eyes shifted between mine, like he was trying to figure out what exactly was going on in my mind. Truthfully, I didn’t know sometimes. After this last Lotus trip, everything felt more in limbo than before. Waiting for Lorelai to either accept me or not. Waiting to move on with my life or not.
Waiting.
Just waiting.
“Yeah,” he finally said. “I guess.” He roughly cleared his throat as he straightened and tossed his hand toward the bed. “Make yourself comfortable.”
I gave him a tight-lipped smile, my arms still folded tightly across my chest as he made his way across the room in a few swift steps. I shifted, pressing my back against the doorframe as he turned to slide past me.
His chest brushed against my arms and I sucked in a sharp breath, my gaze shooting to his. He froze, his eyes wide as he stared down at me.
My mouth felt dry, my heart was in my throat, and everything around us fell away. That touch, as silly as it sounds, felt cosmic. Like everything shifted perfectly into place.
And from his expression, I thought he felt the same way.
“Eli,” I breathed, and he blinked.
The spell was gone.
“I need to go pick up Emma from the diner,” he blurted. “I—I’ll grab us food—or—fuck.”
He shoved his hand through his hair as he stormed away, muttering to himself. I stared after him, watching his broad shoulders shift with every step toward the front door. A giant lump formed in my throat, and I wrapped my hand around it, trying to soothe myself.
It was ridiculous, whatever I was feeling right now. Logically, I knew that.
Maybe I was about to start my period, and I was overly hormonal. Or maybe it was a full moon. Maybe there was some other explanation for whatever the fuck just happened. Because I definitely didnotfeel any type of connection with my brother-in-law. Especially not a cosmic-shifting, soul-sparking, body-melting connection.
I was losing my mind.
7
elliot
Steam billowedaround me as I stepped out of the bathroom, still warm and damp from the shower. I scrubbed the towel over my head, drying my hair. I desperately needed a damn haircut. It’d been way too long since my last one, and my hair was the longest it’d ever been.
I sank onto the end of my bed, bracing my elbows on my knees as I pressed my face into my hands.
What the actual fuck was I doing?
I couldn’t get that moment with Reagan out of my head, the way she’d looked up at me, the way her breath had hitched, the way her cheeks flushed. It was playing on a loop in my mind, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t stop wondering if that’s what she looked like the moment before a climax. Did I want to find out? A part of me did. But another part, the sane and rational part that screamed at me for being a fucking pervert, was telling me I needed to chill.
