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The sunoverhead beat down on me and my shoulders ached as I jammed my shovel into the dry earth of the desert somewhere in Mexico. I wasn’t entirely sure where we’d crossed the border, but I knew we’d gone through Arkansas to get here, so... I still had no idea where we really were. I’d never been this far away from New York in my life. Nearby, some spikey looking trees with rough bark grew together, and there were cactuses with arms on them like I’d seen in westerns when I was younger. Those were about the only kinds of movies Dad would ever let me watch.
Oh, no.I shuddered as the creepy helper who ran around after the guards—they called themselves counselors, but they were all armed—came around blasting everyone with sunscreen in a can, and I stood still while he got me with it as well, closing my eyes. When I opened my eyes, they were stinging because some of the sunscreen had snuck into the corners, and he smiled at me.
“Anson, why are you here?” I asked him softly.
He frowned and brushed his auburn hair back with one hand, then glanced at Gerard, the guard who was scrolling on his phone under an umbrella from where he sat in a lawn chair. With a small smile, he wandered away to the next person digging.
Gerard had arms and thighs the size of tree trunks and was dressed in jeans and a tank top, with his gun holster strapped to his left thigh like some kind of soldier. I really wasn’t sure what the person who’d put together this evil Jesus jail ofpray away the gaybullshit was thinking, but they should’ve reconsidered some of the scenery if they wanted all the guys here to stop catching wood over other guys. Gerard wasn’t my type, but Myles, the “guest” who lived in the cell—sorry, monastic dormitory—across the hall from me, couldn’t keep his eyes off him.
Myles flashed me a dimpled grin when I caught him looking and shrugged before jamming his shovel into the dirt again. His brown eyes glittered with an amusement that shocked me. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead and sweat made the rest of it gleam in the sunshine. To our right was a fifteen-feet deep ditch that I suspected had been hand dug as well. We were just excavating our way toward the desert for no reason I could figure out.
Since Gerard wasn’t watching too closely, I moved over toward Myles and dug my shovel into the sandy dirt next to his, tossing a good shovelful over my shoulder into the pile behind us. “Myles, why are we doing this?” I asked. “When they forced me to sign that paperwork saying I was eighteen and here of my own free will—”
Myles snorted. Neither one of us had a choice in signing on the dotted line.
“They didn’t mention digging for no good reason,” I said.
He smirked. “Well, I’ve been here a year and a half.”
My blood ran cold despite the noon heat that had me feeling woozy. “And?”
He prodded the dirt with his shovel. “My best guess?” He quickly glanced at Gerard, but he was still staring at his phone. “To wear us out so we’ll sit and listen to their bullshit sermons in the evening.” He waggled his eyebrows and grinned. “They want us too tired to think.”
“Why haven’t you just told them you’re not gay so you can leave? After six months they’ll let you prove it to them, whatever that means.”
He winced and glanced at Gerard. “Do you know what you have to do to prove it?”
Frowning, I shook my head.
He leaned closer. “There’s a reason they make you sign all that paperwork at the beginning. I heard they take you to a brothel outside the nearest town, Acuña, and you gotta sleep with one of the women there. If you don’t jizz, you don’t get to go home.”
“What are we whispering about, boys?” Gerard barked, sounding even more bored than we were.
“Oh, you know, this lovely weather,” Myles said with a wide smile, then we went back to digging. Myles had arms of steel from doing this shit for so long, and I sighed. At least I was getting exercise, I guess. Fury ate at me along with despair. I’d been here one week, and all I had was aching muscles on every inch of my body from all the work.
I missed Ethan.
Weirdly, I wanted to go home; although, I couldn’t say I minded my parents being out of the equation. My bed was a fond memory. I glanced at Gerard, and Anson sprayed him with sunscreen. The big man didn’t look like he minded the attention, and Anson’s tongue was practically rolling out of his mouth. I sighed and shook my head before I got back to work.
The day was never-ending, and at 5:00 p.m. I nearly cried with joy when Gerard blew a whistle.
“Inside! You have two minutes to shower. Do not look at each other. There will be an assigned counselor in the shower rooms.” Gerard scowled at each of us while he blew his whistle again like he thought we were in the marines.
“Yeah, getting their rocks off at the view,” I grumbled.
Myles chuckled.
We went through a door directly inside the low cement-block building that was our dormitory and to our left was a locker room that reminded me of the gym in my high school. There were twenty of us on our crew, and another crew would be allowed to come in when we finished. Everyone rushed because they weren’t kidding; the showers would only be on for two minutes once they started, and if you were only halfway through washing your hair, too bad for you. You got to live with suds and gunk until the next day. I wasn’t really sure what sort of lesson they thought they were teaching us—except to hate them.
After the quick rinse off, we grabbed new clothes from the pile on the other side of the door as we left. Everything was one-size-fits-all here, even the boxers, which was gross. We had nothing that was ours. I took my T-shirt, white boxers, and shorts to a bench near the lockers. Now that we were done for the day, we wouldn’t get our shoes back, probably because they were worried someone would try to run away or do something unmentionable with the strings.
There was nothing in our rooms but a mattress, either. We’d been told it was to make us closer to God, but after only a week here, I could understand how desperation might get the better of someone. After everyone was dressed, we were escorted barefoot to the cafeteria, where we had a simple meal of rice and chicken, which all things considered wasn’t terrible. I picked at my food, even after the hard day of work, because the sun had gotten to me, and I knew what was coming next. I drank all my water, though. They were stingy with it, and I wanted every drop I could get.
Sermons that would rival Dad’s were fast approaching. I fucking hated it.
Gerard, with Anson at his side, stopped by the long wooden table where I was sitting, and I held in a string of profanity as I glanced up at him. He had a smile that was too big and bright for anything good. He winked at me, blue eyes cold as ice.
“What’s up?” I asked, just because I couldn’t take sitting here in silence. The skinny blond guy at my side gave me a terrified look, but I was beyond caring. We’d come in the same day, and he hadn’t even told me his name yet.
