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“Newbies, follow me,” Gerard said, and I shoved away my food, getting up from the bench and leaving it. We stomped through the dreary hallway behind him. If they’d tried to make this place look more like a prison, they couldn’t have done it. The gray walls were depressing. There wasn’t a drop of color in the entire building, as if they were afraid of anything that would remind someone of a rainbow. Five of us followed after Gerard into a room that was actually carpeted, with yet more institutional gray, and had old wooden student desks facing a projector screen at the front.
Well, at least this was different. I relaxed until my gaze caught on an odd device on a desk pushed against the wall to the left. It was a small black box with a wire coming out of it and a metal band on the end. Gerard noticed me staring and grinned.
“So, this iswhat’s up,” he said, winking at me. My stomach churned. “The reason we’re here and not somewhere in the lower forty-eight states is because the libs have driven Christ out of the country.”
Oh, this was going to be terrible. I could already tell.
“So, what is this for?” I asked, feeling ready to fight, even though I hadn’t said much of anything at all.
Gerard strode over to the desk and picked up the black device. “We’re going to hook each of you up to one of these, then play some indecent material that you’re probably used to watching up there.” He pointed, as if I couldn’t see the screen hanging at the front of the room. “If you become aroused, you’ll receive a simple, yet painful, shock. We use Scripture and psychological training here at the camp to help you turn away from sin. That’s why we only take people who are legally adults.” His nostrils flared, and I couldn’t help but think the sick jerk was very happy about doing his job.
My head spun and I felt like I was going to faint for a second.
“You’re going to have us watch porn and shock our cocks,” the blond to my right said, but he actually sounded excited about the idea. I turned to look at him, and he gave me a sheepish grin. “Well, there’s a reason my parents forced me here.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
Gerard frowned at him, then back down at the device in his hand.
Of all the shit I’d thought would happen here, I could honestly say I’d never expected this. “I’m not doing it. The only person seeing my dick is my boyfriend,” I said.
There were some gasps from the other guys, and I cringed at the foul language, but I was over everything here, including Gerard and his kinky bullshit.
Anson frowned at me softly. “This is a proven method of helping to cure us. I don’t get hard for the, um, material anymore.” He glanced at Gerard out of the corner of his eye as if searching for approval and received a warm smile in return.
Gerard nodded. “This is a good retraining tool, and we can’t do it in the US. The Southern Church of Christian Loyalty has a deal with the local government, so we can bring people back to God.”
“That’s bullshit. No one here knows what you’re doing. This is illegal everywhere,” I snapped.
Gerard glared, and I was sure I must be right. He walked toward me. “This is for your own good. You can go first.” He held out the device in his hand.
“I’m not doing that,” I said, pointing and backing up. “Despite what my father probably thinks, I’ve never watched porn anyway.”
Anson huffed and rolled his eyes. “You can’t leave until you complete this program. There’s a monitor on the cuff that lets us know when you get through a full session without a physiological response.” He sounded cold and clinical and so much more evil than a simple, simpering ass-kisser. He was brainwashed.
“No.”
Gerard waved at the door. “Get out of here. Have fun. You won’t be going home until you complete the program.”
I slunk out, and when I opened the door there was another guard waiting. His name was Benji, according to his white plastic name tag, and I refused to look at his face on the walk back to my room—fuck it, it was acell—and when he closed the door, it locked. They could say we were free to do whatever we wanted, but as long as we weren’t allowed to leave, this place was a prison. I flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Jesus jail.
The next day was the same as each one I’d spent here. Before the sun was up a building-wide alarm went off, and we were all hustled from our rooms to the cafeteria, then out into the cold morning air. The nights in the desert were freezing compared to the days, and I shivered as I grabbed a shovel from the pile next to the door with my aching arms. Scanning the desert before I drove my shovel into the dirt near the ditch, I frowned because I thought I saw something glinting out there near a cluster of cactuses, but whatever I’d seen I couldn’t spot again.
As Gerard came out to take his place under the umbrella, the sun began to rise higher and burn off some of the chill. He winked at me before slipping on his sunglasses. My heart pounded hard, and my body felt like it was electrified. I turned my back on him. Anson came around with the sunscreen, and the scent tickled my nose because he started at the far end of the line. I began to dig while rage burned through me.
What had I done to deserve this, really? I’d always listened to my parents. I’d done everything I’d ever been told to do during most of my life. As Anson came over to spray me, I finally realized I’d messed up.
I should’ve tried to escape somewhere on the highway in Arkansas.
Nothing, literally nothing, was worth being away from Ethan, even though I hadn’t felt like I’d had much choice. Foolishly, I’d thought I could stay here and just nod my head the way I did with Dad, then tell them I was fine and go home. I hadn’t really considered what kind of place this would be or the methods they would use to try to make us good in the eyes of God.
Well, fuck Gerard, and fuck God, too, if this was really what he wanted from me.
I couldn’t imagine that was right, though.
Anson got to me, and I didn’t think. I shoved him. He cried out and rolled down into the ditch, and it looked like it hurt when he hit the bottom, but I didn’t care anymore. “Why are you helping them? Gerard isn’t going to fuck you, you moron,” I shouted.
“Unless he already is,” Myles said with a laugh, tossing his shovel over his shoulder. I didn’t know what he was up to until he swung, and there was a loudtwangbehind me like something out of a cartoon. I glanced back in time to see Gerard go down onto his ass while he blinked up at the sky. Red bloomed across his face and two lines of scarlet began to pour from his nostrils.
